I can say without a doubt that finding The Work has been one of the most transformational episodes of my life. Questioning my thoughts through self-inquiry has freed me from limiting and stressful beliefs that used to cause me great suffering.
Because of the impactThe Work has had on me and the moms I work with, I’ve become a huge Byron Katie fan, so I decided to share some of my favorite Byron Katie quotes with you, because I know they will contribute to lessen much of your suffering.
Byron Katie Quote #1 ~ “Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.”
To take responsibility for our beliefs and judgments is to admit we have them. Through The Work, we are challenged to put those judgments in writing, to own them, and to question them.
When we stop placing blame or judgment someone else, understanding that we are no longer powerless victims in a hopeless situation. We understand that the problem is ours, and therefore, ours to solve. This is the definition of empowerment!
Byron Katie Quote #2 ~ “It’s not your job to like me – it’s mine.”
When you like yourself, you surrender the need to fit in, to belong, to have others like you, and liberate both them and yourself.
Whenever I feel like “nobody likes me,” I know I can shift and remind myself that I like me, and that that’s enough.
Byron Katie Quote #3 ~ “All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.”
Do you believe that all you have is all you need, and that all you need is all you have? It can be a challenging declaration; however, there’s evidence that you don’t need what you think you need or want: you don’t have it.
“I need more money,” “I need a bigger house,” “I need a college fund for my kids,” … Focusing on these “needs” will cause you suffering; while focusing on what you do have will cause you joy, gratitude, and peace.
Byron Katie Quote #4 ~ “Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon, nor too late. You don’t have to like it…it’s just easier if you do.”
Are you a member of the impatient mom club? I’m on the board of trustees! LOL It amazes me how much life improves when we start to trust in God’s timing.
Life is easier when stop complaining about the past and the future, and start embracing what is happening in the present moment.
Byron Katie Quote #5 ~ “Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.”
I admit I didn’t always think I was the love of my life, but think about this: from your first breath to the last, you are the only constant mortal person in your life.
We tend to criticize ourselves and put ourselves down, especially when in front of the mirror; however, how we treat ourselves is inevitably how we will treat others. And you can only love others to the extent that you love yourself. What if you said only beautiful words to yourself in the mirror?
Byron Katie Quote #6 ~“No one can hurt me—that’s my job.”
You’ve heard that no once can make you feel inferior without your consent, and the same applies to allowing someone to hurt you. Most of the time, when someone says something or does something that hurts, it doesn’t hurt because of what they did or said, but because of what you believed about what they did, because of your experience.
Because of my environment growing up, I used to have so much self-importance and be so defensive, and through this philosophy, I have come to stop taking things personally and to shift whenever I feel someone is “out to hurt me.”
Because “defense is the first act of war,” I have more peace in my life and I am more productive, because I’m not defending myself all the time.
Byron Katie Quote #7 ~ “Stress is an alarm clock that lets you know you’re attached to something not true for you.”
Feeling depleted, overwhelmed and burnt out is not really related to how much you do. Stress doesn’t come because of the size of your to-do list, it is caused by a lack of alignment with your higher purpose.
Identify those areas that bring you stress and assess why. When you let go of what isn’t true to you, you will have greater balance and productivity in your life.
Byron Katie Quote #8 ~ “I stopped waiting for the world to give me what I wanted; I started giving it to myself.”
Much of the suffering we experience comes from a feeling of lack or loss. We feel we don’t have what we want and and we fear losing what we believe we have.
The most empowering time in my life started when I understood that I was not entitled to anything and that the world owed me nothing, that I came to the world to give, to provide, to source that which I am – and when I give to the world, I give to others, I give to myself, too. What a generous universe!
Byron Katie Quote #9 ~ “Peace doesn’t require two people; it requires only one. It has to be you. The problem begins and ends there.”
We all claim we want to be at peace with others, but if we are honest and really go deep, what we really want is for them to create or generate what we see as peace.
It’s extremely freeing to give up on people meeting certain requirements in order for me to have peace. It’s also reassuring to be myself and to know that, while others may claim that who I am robs them of peace, the key to their peace is within themselves.
Byron Katie Quote #10 ~ “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.”
We all experience hardship, challenges, and adversity in life and motherhood. It is ultimately what we think about these struggles that determines whether we will sink or move on triumphantly.
When we question our thoughts about a problem, we usually either find that the problem is actually an illusion or an opportunity or that the solution is right under our nose. This shift can help ease many your burdens and lessen many of your worries.
Byron Katie Quote #11 ~ “God spare me from the desire for love, approval, and appreciation. Amen.”
The prayer to be rid of desire for love, approval and appreciation is such a powerful prayer. Most of my suffering has stemmed from these desires and from believing that I didn’t have them.
I believe it’s in the form of a prayer because it is a journey we don’t just walk one day. I am aware that it takes constant effort to forsake these addictions that plague our soul. This is why it’s called The Work!
Byron Katie Quote #12 ~“Forgiveness is realizing that what you thought happened, didn’t.”
When I share my stories, I seek to validate emotions and to be a source of hope to those who have been or are going through the same issues or dilemmas. Our judgments must be acknowledged before we can let them go.
However, when we question our thoughts, our feelings, our beliefs, we often find that forgiveness is really “giving” up our story “for” a newfound perspective that brings us peace and connection. The truth doesn’t hurt, it sets one free!
Byron Katie Quote #13 ~ “What happened was the best thing that could happen.”
I used to ask myself and God “WHY” – why did I have to go through all these painful situations throughout my life? Why ME?
As I connect the dots, I know that what happened is the best that could happen. I am grateful to every person that seemed to be the villain in my drama. Each one of these teachers provided enlightenment I needed in preparation for the next stage of my life. Without those lessons, I wouldn’t be me, I wouldn’t be where I am, I wouldn’t be the mom I am today. While I honor the struggle of the past, I am grateful for what it means in the present.
Byron Katie Quote #14 ~ “When I am perfectly clear, what is is what I want.”
There is so much fog in our lives: judgment, distraction, confusion… and so many voices want to tell us what we should want. And we usually want what we don’t have, what it’s not, what never was.
Clarity comes from understanding that WHAT IS is all that matters in the present moment, and the present moment is all we have. The more we align with this truth, the more magical our life will be.
Byron Katie Quote #15 ~“Would you rather be right or free?”
I used to be addicted to being right, because I thought that knowing the right answers is what made me valuable. I felt a false sense of power when I proved just how right I was, but at the end of the day, the more right I was, the more powerless, unhappy, and disconnected I felt.
Like the with eating and having the proverbial cake, it’s very unlikely that you will be “right” and “free” at the same time. You give the one up for the other – which one will it be?
Byron Katie Quote #16 ~ “I don’t let go of concepts—I question them. Then they let go of me.”
Many moms I work with want to learn to “let go.” They want to let go of fear, shame, debilitating beliefs and behaviors, addictions, or depressing feelings.
“How do I let go?” You don’t. You simply question and become the person who can no longer hold them. These concepts no longer fit you and they unstick from you, leaving you free.
Byron Katie Quote #17 ~ “Have you asked you?”
Because we’ve been equipped with a powerful mental faculty called ‘intuition,’ we can access God’s truth and wisdom anytime we are in alignment with the divinity within us.
Many of the answers to life’s most important questions are found when connecting with your Higher Self.
Byron Katie Quote #18 ~ “Personalities don’t love—they want something.”
We’ve learned in the Bible that love doesn’t seek anything.
I have experienced that I know I love someone when I have felt a surrender on what I’ve called “my personality” or “the way I am” or “how things should be.” When I feel separation, I’m not truly loving, I am letting my “personality” get in the way.
Byron Katie Quote #19 ~“You can only see what you believe—nothing else is possible.”
Have you been with someone at the same time and witnessed the same thing, only to have a completely different, and sometimes opposite experience?
Our story is created from our beliefs. It’s been a relief for me to know what someone’s story about me has nothing to do with me but with the thoughts they believe. In the same sense, I can see more clearly when I have the courage to question what I believe.
Byron Katie Quote #20 ~ “We say to others only what we need to hear.”
In The Work, Katie offers a series of turnarounds. It is so humbling to realize that the judgments we pass on others are simply our own thinking reflected upon them.
Every time I do The Work to judge my neighbor, I end up crying and feeling so much love and compassion for them, realizing I am the one I can and must change.
Byron Katie Quote #21 ~ “Everything happens for me, not to me.”
Life is a classroom. We are here to learn and we may resist both the lessons and the teachers; however, when we are willing learners, we can clearly understand that everything does work together for a greater good.
I am grateful for every lesson I have learned and for the way in which I have learned them, and I pray I can recognize those teaching moments, as they show up.