I’m always speaking about magnifying our calling of motherhood. In doing so, I may at times neglect the fundamental and urgent role of fathers in our family, the main rock of any society.
While it’s true that fatherlessness is common – and even hip – in our times, it has been called “The Central Social Problem of Our Time,” (Tom Lowe, Claremont Institute).
Science and tradition agree: Children need both a mother and a father. A mother who is devoted to her nourishing role. A father who is sensitive, wise, and supportive.
I know the title father has been tainted by many who forever neglect, hurt or leave their families or make an appearance to eat, sleep and watch TV. Remember Anne Geddes when she said: “Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a DAD“
Sigmund Freud once said “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” CHILDREN NEED A DAD!
Children need a DAD to behave ~ Many studies show that children who live with both a mother and father figure often have fewer behavioral problems than those who just live with their mother.
Children need a DAD to explore ~ studies show that it is a dad who empowers a child and encourages him or her to explore new surroundings and new people. Dads can indeed be more fun!
Children need a DAD to learn control ~ As moms, we “help children feel connected, anticipated and wanted,” and dads are the ones who “teach them how to interact with others and how to control themselves when they feel their needs aren’t being met.” ~ Patrick Tolan, Curry School at the University of Virginia.
Children need a DAD to rough play ~ it does not make a child aggressive, “it can lead them to be more empathetic.” William Pollack, Harvard Medical School.
Let’s recognize and honor the critical role our fathers play in our lives. Let’s celebrate:
~ Those fathers who spend family time with the kids, lending an ear, playing a sport, being an example of strength and support.
~ Those fathers who are helpful to the family and to others and whose kindness is the greatest asset to their children and their wife.
~ Those fathers who know “the best thing a dad can do for his children is to love their mother.” They are thoughtful, affectionate, and forgiving, and a great role model for the boys to learn to be a husband, and for the girls to know what kind of husband to aspire for.
~ Those fathers who truly deserve the “Greatest Dad Ever” or “#1 Dad” mugs, t-shirts, or imitation Academy Award.
~ Those fathers who never underestimate the importance of their responsibility, who understand they are their children’s heroes, and, quite possibly, the first glimpse at what a loving father the Creator could be.
Sometimes, for one reason or another, our children do not enjoy the many benefits of having a father or father figure around. If that is your case as it is mine, stay happy, stay strong, stay calm, and do your part. A child benefits from loving, committed, responsible and stable parenting, wherever it comes from.
Happy Father’s Day to All DADs – especially to my dad, my hero, my mentor!
Elayna is a single mom of 4, award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 4x TEDx speaker. Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results, so you can have the wealth, opportunities, and freedom you deserve. Connect with Elayna Fernández at thepositivemom.com/keynote-speaker and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.
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