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You Get It When You Give It

What comes to your mind when you think about the phrase “you get it when you give it”? I’m talking about the L word. LOVE.

I seldom talk about this, but lately, I am becoming more open and vulnerable in all aspects of my life. I’ve been covering it up because I felt shame around this issue. I wanted my childhood to be perfect. To be honest, for a long period of my life, I wanted EVERYTHING to be perfect. Go ahead and laugh… perfection on Earth is a joke. A sick joke, to be exact. And I had fallen into that trap.

The raw truth is that my childhood not only wasn’t perfect (go figure!), it was actually extremely painful. I often felt scared, alone, and misunderstood. I didn’t feel loved or accepted, and what is worse, I didn’t feel safe. Unfortunately, I also felt like I had to fight back to survive.

I’ve had a shift, a breakthrough, an epiphany. My motto has always been “you cannot give what you don’t have” and it never occurred to me that I had the best that was possible, given the knowledge and resources that were available, and the existing circumstances. I am NOT condoning the hurtful words and hurtful actions that wounded me, rather acknowledging the truth from a more compassionate healing perspective.

Maya Angelou taught a powerful lesson when she said “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” I am in tears as I ponder on this powerful message.

How many times have you felt like you could have done something differently?

Regret can be poisonous. I choose not to punish myself, not to hate, not to hold a grudge: we all did what we knew how to do. I choose to be grateful.

I am grateful for my childhood and for what it taught me. Through my misery, I found motivation, momentum, and miracles.

I am grateful for my scars because they remind me my wounds are healed ~ Elayna Fernandez - The Positive Mom

I am grateful for my scars for they remind me my wounds are healed. The shame is gone. I have released perfection and called myself “enough.” I have surrendered control and the need for approval.

I am grateful for second chances. Even though I know I will never be a child again, I have found love, protection, and magic in childhood. Through motherhood, I have found that love is a powerful force… and when you give it, you get it.

I strive to be patient and kind, to not envy nor boast, to not be proud nor rude, to not be self-seeking or easily angered, to not keep record of wrongs. I do my best to not delight in evil and rejoice in the truth. I protect, I trust, I hope, I persevere… and as long as I have done all I know to do, with what I have and what I know, I have NOT failed. I can give love. I can BE love. And so can YOU.

[ela]

Lalia @ Found Frolicking

Sunday 29th of June 2014

Like attracts like, and so positivity draws more positivity... kindness brings good things. The feeling one gets from helping others is amazing, and it really does seem that more good things happen to people who treat others with kindness. Something I wish everyone could do a little more of!

Kungphoo

Wednesday 11th of June 2014

There are allot of times where i thought i could have done things differently.. but i just have to move on.

Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM

Sunday 8th of June 2014

We are soul-sisters, Sharon. I feel that God has used those wounds to make my life more blessed and beautiful. And like you say, progress is success. Big hug!

Sharon

Sunday 8th of June 2014

Oh yeah, it's hard. My childhood was rotten. I was abused in every way possible by my parents and then by a boyfriend for years. I've had to claw my way to make normalcy for my kids and yeah, I've messed up and have regrets, but I know my childhood had everything to do with the adult I am now and I keep doing better and I know that where I am now, is exactly where God wants me to be. So...I'm a good work in progress and my kids will be better parents that me, and that's a great thing :)

Donna L

Sunday 8th of June 2014

I think every mom kinda feels this way... I know everyday I strive to give my kids the structure of a family and to be there for them in every way I can since I didn't have such luxuries

Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM

Sunday 8th of June 2014

I am surprised as I share my story that so many feel the same way. Thank you for that confirmation, Donna!