BE Positive and You'll BE Powerful ~ The Positive MOM Story Skip to Content

BE Positive and You’ll BE Powerful

“By the time you read this, you will probably realize I’m gone, and I’m never coming back.” I pressed the letter to my stomach, fell to my knees, and curled into the fetal position on the cold tile floor. I begged in my thoughts for someone to tell me that this was only a nightmare! I wanted to believe that I would wake up and everything would be fine, but suddenly, the 125-square-foot room I had called home for the past two weeks felt as big as an ocean and I was alone, drowning. The pain spread like cancer and it felt stronger than I’d ever felt before.

“You are worthless, you can’t do anything right, you don’t deserve to be alive,” I berated myself. The flashbacks began playing in my head. I had heard those words everyday as a child as I was physically punished for “being bad.” I had heard those words from my attacker when I was kidnapped, brutally raped, and almost killed at nineteen years old. I had heard those words from the man I loved, as he hit me when I had “deserved it.” As I lay there, enveloped in darkness, these memories haunted me. I had resisted, refusing to accept my worthlessness, but now that my own husband had abandoned me, it rang painfully true.

Just because you think you are worthless does not make it true. Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM

I was so angry that I’d ever believed in and loved him. How could I have been so foolish? I felt a deep sense of shame, guilt, and regret overcome me. I couldn’t believe my marriage was over after only three years. I was pathetic and it was my fault!

Plagued with fear, I felt powerless, and sank in a pit of complete despair. I remember thinking to myself, “I don’t have any money. I don’t have a job. I am all alone in this country. I don’t know anyone in this town. I don’t have a bank account. I don’t have a car. I don’t know how to drive. I am ugly. I am stupid. I am damaged goods.” Everything evidenced that I was a failure and a hopeless case. At the age of twenty-eight, on that October night, at three o’clock in the morning, I decided it was finally time to put an end to my life, and with it, my unbearable pain.

As I looked up, determined to go through with my idea, my anger and desperation suddenly started to dissipate. I saw my one and two-year-old daughters peacefully asleep, beautiful and angelic. I sighed in relief and realized that I was not really alone. While it was true I didn’t have much (and he had indeed taken everything of material value we owned), he had left the best part behind – my most cherished treasures! In the midst of my dark agony, a sense of gratitude drew a smile out of my blackened soul.

When you are down, look up!  Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM

Doubt and self-defeat crept in again as I thought about the pain my daughters would have to suffer, now that their father was gone. Even though it had been almost two decades since my own parents divorced, I still remembered the sting of my father leaving and didn’t want my little girls to experience the same sense of doom I had felt. Now on my knees, I sought consolation in a short and casual prayer. I didn’t get an answer, but a strange vision filled my mind. I remembered a few years before, when Roberto Benigni had been awarded two Academy Awards for his film “Life is Beautiful.” He portrayed a father who turned the most dreadful horrors into the funniest games for his innocent son. What if I could act as the main character in my favorite movie? I had heard “fake it til ya make it” and I’m not into faking, but I could FAITH IT til I made it. There was hope!

Faith it til ya make it - Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM

As my newfound sense of purpose settled within me, I fought my inadequacy and low self-worth. How could I raise two toddlers with no money, no support, and no resources? I’d been in Florida just a few days after a weeklong cross-country drive from California, and I was clueless as to what steps to take, or how to move on as a single mom.

[tweet “Faith it til ya make it! #elaynaquotes #motivationformoms”]

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with a to-do list! All I knew was I wanted to be the mom I wish I’d had as a child. Amidst my frustration, I surprisingly felt inspired write a “to-BE-list!”

Write a To-Be list - Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive

I shifted my focus, and began to furiously write down what it would take to be the kind of mom I wanted to be; the kind of mom I had to become to give my daughters a beautiful life, a blessed life. Maybe the eight beatitudes were the answer. I had read Matthew five countless times as a kid in the slum, when the Bible was the only book we owned:

Blessed are the poor in spirit…

Blessed are they that mourn…

Blessed are the meek…

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness…

Blessed are the merciful…

Blessed are the pure in heart…

Blessed are the peacemakers…

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake…

I felt empowered. Those verses connected me with my divine identity and I discovered that, as a precious child of God, I had the potential to become all those things. I could be a healthy role model for my daughters; a loving mom, a conscious mom, an intentional mom, an engaging mom, a connected mom, a playful mom, and a present mom. I could be a positive mom! I still didn’t have a plan, but I had the clarity to make choices that were in alignment with my new thinking and that ignited my inner power. I set out to design a life I loved, and to find joy in the journey.

Connect with your divine identity so you can discover your potential! Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM

Today, I’m in a state of constant gratitude and awe for the miracles and blessings I have witnessed in the last twelve years, not in spite of my ex-husband “never coming back,” but precisely because of it. The words that had sounded like a torturous death sentence now represent the declaration of our freedom to live life on our own terms. I deeply enjoy being a homeschooling mom and entrepreneur.

Be Positive and You Will Be Powerful - Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM

As “The Positive MOM,” I tell and write stories to empower audiences with positive messages, helping moms create joy, balance, and success with my teachings, guidance, and support. I have been blessed to support my daughters’ own entrepreneurial efforts, to get re-married, and to birth another daughter who brings laughter and excitement to our home.

Your circumstances do not define you, your mindset does. Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM

In the defining moments of adversity, trials, and hardship, your circumstances do not define you; your mindset does. When you change your mindset―your self-image, your attitudes, and your responses―your perspective changes. A positive perspective that is rooted in your true identity allows you to reset, reinvent, and recreate your life, and ultimately become who you are meant to be.

You know what I say: BE Positive and You’ll BE Powerful! How do you use your positive mindset to unlock your inner power? Share your brilliance with us below!

Elayna Fernandez - Bestselling Author - 
Transformational Trainer and Keynote Speaker - Mentor to Mom Entrepreneurs

© Elayna Fernández ~ The Positive MOM
Be sure to Subscribe to blog post updates, so you never miss a thing!

Chase Slate - teaching kids about credit
Previous
Why, When, and How To Talk To Your Kids About Credit
Next
D23 Expo Recap: My Exclusive Interview with the DuckTales Producers


By submitting this form, you are consenting to receive marketing emails from: The Positive MOM, ThePositiveMOM.com, Fort Worth, TX, 76179, http://thepositivemom.com. You can revoke your consent to receive emails at any time by using the SafeUnsubscribe® link, found at the bottom of every email. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact

Moms, Learn How to Spot Frenemies and Fair-weather Friends!

Sunday 10th of January 2021

[…] He offered to beat up a guy that broke my heart and to open up his home to my daughters and I before I found where to go when I became a single mom. […]

Raven Davis-King

Monday 4th of January 2021

My comment? Elayna, I have so enjoyed getting to know you through Janet's Self-Love Mastery program, and through your participation in the facebook group. Love, Raven

Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM

Monday 4th of January 2021

I have enjoyed getting to know you, as well. It's been a joy! Thank you for supporting my blog!

Stacey Flam

Friday 30th of October 2020

It can be difficult to stay positive especially in the begining when you decided to finally take your life back from negativity. Mindfulness is tedious in the begining but soon you'll realize it's become a beautiful habit. 'just keep swimming'

Cassandra D

Wednesday 5th of August 2020

Thank you for the positive encouragement.

dwight mccoy

Wednesday 29th of July 2020

Awesome story, always remember the power of positivity!