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Have You Considered Plastic Surgery?

Breast implants, Botox, liposuction, facelifts… you name it… millions of women all around the world are having work done to improve alter their appearance. Have you considered plastic surgery? I have.

But cosmetic surgery wasn’t my idea. And although we live in a society that promotes flawlessness, being perfect, defying age, and transforming our physique to a more widely acceptable mold, I was actually influenced by a single person. Someone whose opinion I cared about. Someone I once loved.

He never said “you’re ugly, you need work done!” He claimed to be extremely and dangerously attracted to me and that I was the only one for him, the most beautiful woman ever born… but he would also often [at any possible chance] point out how he was obsessed with a certain cup size, how I would be “so much prettier” if my stomach was flatter, or how he loved me so much “in spite of my flat nose.”

I wish I could tell you that I ignored him, told him to go “somewhere special,” and moved on with my life, but sadly, his words started to creep into my self-image… and little by little, I started to be concerned with my body and desperately wanting to fix what was wrong with it.

I did the research that included price comparison, types of plastic surgery, and the nature of the implants. I went to the free consultation —where I learned what a good candidate for plastic surgery I was. I even asked my mom whether she would help me with the babies during recovery time. Now it was just a matter of deciding: would I get my giant cup size on first, then my tummy tuck, or would I do them both at the same time? And at that point, I never considered changing my nose, but I now believe I would have probably gone there next.

What I learned from my visit to the plastic surgeon is better expressed in Rae Smith’s expressed words: “There is nothing wrong with your body but there is a lot wrong with the messages which try to convince you otherwise.”

there is nothing wrong with your body but there is a lot wrong with the messages which try to convince you otherwise

I am not writing this to place blame on the man who provoked my desire for plastic surgery. He is who he is… it is not up to me to judge whether he is right or wrong. I am simply pouring my heart out to you because I feel great joy that I came to my senses and remembered who I am … and most importantly, whose I am.

I was paying too much attention on how I felt about him, so with that relationship, I learned to focus on how I feel about myself when I am with a man. Now that I am married to my eternal soul mate, I love that he brings out the best in me and our relationship empowers me.

I’m not sure if you have heard the fact that the Disney movie FROZEN was inspired by Hans Christian Andersen‘s fairy tale The Snow Queen. This story tells of a mirror with the power to make that which was beautiful ugly, and that which was ugly, horrifying. This relationship for me was like that mirror. When we take a close, honest look at our relationships, we can learn so much about how and why we created them. And we are empowered to break the mirror, to ignore the hints, to take a stand for who we are, and embrace our beauty.

I am not anti-plastic surgery (or anti-anything for that matter). I know some women reduce their breasts because of back pain, for example. I did read a statistic claiming that 15,000 people die every month due to various medical and surgical errors, which sounds scary to say the least. I deeply believe that external beauty is not measured in inches and cups, or weighed in pounds… it does not depend on cosmetic products, hair dye, fad diets, plastic surgery, gastric surgery, liposuction, injections, or diet pills. External beauty is not even a thing.

Let me illustrate: I think you would agree that Norma Jean Mortenson [ AKA Marilyn Monroe] is considered as a beauty icon; dubbed one of the sexiest women in the history of the world. Her tummy wasn’t tucked ( or even toned), she didn’t have a thigh gap, her arms weren’t skinny, her breasts weren’t perky Double D’s, and she had stretch marks! It was not a body part that made her beautiful…it was her confidence, her smile, her femininity… and all women have access to these three free, proven alternatives to undergoing risky unnecessary surgical procedure.

My prayer is that you remember who you are and whose you are, that you embrace your body as it is, no matter the age or stage you’re in. I love my saggy mommy belly pouch (if that’s a name), I love my stretch marks, I love my crazy hair, I love my scars, I love my flat nose and my square feet, I love that I’m 4’9″… and so does my husband. He loves me for who I am, not for what I look like…and that is why I chose him.

Don’t let manipulative media messages tell you how you’re supposed to be, what you’re supposed to look like, or who you’re supposed to act like to be beautiful. You were created a masterpiece and the Artist knows His craft. You’re bound to bump into these messages, because quite frankly, they’re everywhere, at times, very close to home, and very often, between your own ears.

You don’t need to change anything about you to be beautiful. There are many goals you can attain with discipline, faith, and motivation. If like me, you have considered plastic surgery, may I ask you to honestly reconsider? Are your expectations realistic? How will it change your life?

If you have already gone under the knife, don’t beat yourself up. We all do what we know with what we have, and given the circumstances we are presented with. This is not to make you wrong… but perhaps you may want to share some lessons that you learned before, during, or after the process that may illuminate truth for other women.

I am not having plastic surgery… I feel happy, beautiful, and confident just the way I am… and I INVITE YOU to choose to feel the same way about yourself!

[ela]

Katelyn F

Sunday 5th of October 2014

I had twins and have some diastis recti issues, and will likely need surgery to repair it someday, and when they do I may do a tummy tuck at the same time because they generally just stretched out my belly. But, yes, I have thought about plastic surgery before, but more when I was younger.... and I was much more self conscience about my small boobs, and big pointy nose (my mom actually did get a nose job at 18). But, like you, I have a husband who loves me just as I am and has NEVER said I need bigger boobs or a different nose. He loves mine just as they are, and doesn't care about my stomach at all (that's just me).

Love your post. :) I don't care about look either. There are far more important things, eternal things. :D

Adin Blankenship

Thursday 11th of September 2014

Oh my goodness! You are 4'9", too? Well, I am not the only one then. LOL! We are of the same height and yes I have a Filipino nose (as what we call flat). I am short, my legs are not skinny, I have a bit of stretch marks and I have man hands. LOL! I certainly have some flaws, which at first I didn't really love, but over the years I have learned to love. I don't like to look at magazines with sexy models or sexy Hollywood stars. I don't look at magazines of sexy women as my motivation so I could say "I want to look like her". Because I know we are built differently. We are unique in our own way. And we are beautiful in our own way. We just have to live our life the healthy, happy way and learn to accept our flaws. I don't have anything against those who would go under the knife or have gone under the knife, but I know it is not for me. This article reminds me of the song Try by Colbie Calliat. I hope I spelled her name right. Thanks for sharing!

Aisha Kristine Chong

Wednesday 10th of September 2014

I never did. it's scary - unless I really need to.. then I will.

rocky

Wednesday 10th of September 2014

thanks for sharing your great article ... I never imagine myself having plastic surgery lol...

Amanda Love

Wednesday 10th of September 2014

I am actually considering getting breast work done and maybe a few other things. This is all about me feeling better about myself and not caring about what others think.