I grew up in a very negative environment where I heard awful words spoken to me and about me and they completely shattered me. Although extremely painful, this experience turned out to be very enriching for me because it helped me learn the power of words at a very young age. 

Robin Sharma once said “Words can inspire and words can destroy. Choose yours well.” I think most of us really try to do this, but it’s hard work… and it’s also very tricky. It’s not just ugly, harmful, negative work that can hurt our children – you’ve heard it before: it’s not what you say, but how you say it.

One of my life mottos is “results don’t lie.” And the thing with nagging is not only that it’s negative, you know deep down that it also doesn’t work. 

Praising your child whenever they do something “good” isn’t the answer either, because there’s a right time and a right way of praising, too. But let’s just say that for every complaint, for every negative thing we point out in our child as a mistake or a flaw or something they do wrong and must be corrected, there should be at least 17 positive statements to counteract the negative effect.

Yeah, 17:1 is a lot… but remember that progress is success; any progress. To help you make progress in this area, I’ve put together a list of 101 positive things you need to say to your child or teen.

The more you practice saying these positive words to your child or your teen , the more they can feel loved, accepted, empowered, supported, and confident enough to face any challenge that comes their way.

Supermom doesn’t exist, but even if we all succeeded at the 17:1 ratio and spoke nothing but positive words to our children and teenagers, remember that there are other people in their lives who may be saying (or not saying) words to hurt them – even if they don’t mean to.

My oldest daughter was bullied at school when she was 8 years old and it really took a toll on her self-esteem at that time. And even though we’ve been homeschooling since, we’ve had our share of nasty experiences with girls and women from our Church gossiping, saying snarky comments, giving dirty looks, and making up gossip and rumors that have created great sadness, pain, and depression. 

In the same way, my daughter’s piano teacher said some amazing words to her and gave her a handwritten card to encourage her, which made a positive difference in a difficult moment.

Words have power and though we don’t have control about what others say or don’t say to our children, we can show more love, compassion, and support to our babies, whether they’re 17 months or 17 years old.

101 Positive Phrases You Need To Say to Your Child

You don’t have to say 101 things daily – it will be overwhelming to you and your child or teen! Choose at least one of these positive phrases to say to your child in a heartfelt, meaningful, and loving way to strengthen the connection you share.

1. You make me smile
2. I like you
3. I’m happy to have you around
4. You inspire me
5. I’m so excited to spend time with you
6. I’m proud of you
7. You are cared for 
8. Your words matter to me
9. Follow your dreams
10. I’m grateful for you
11. I love your hugs
12. I appreciate you so much
13. I understand you 
14. I love trying things your way
15. You make me laugh
16. You have great ideas
17. I am your friend
18. What you say matters
19. You can achieve anything you desire
20. I admire you
21. Your imagination is wonderful
22. You are worth it
23. I love laughing with you
24. You have strong character
25. You are a marvel
26. You were created for a purpose
27. Your life matters
28. Watching you grow up is amazing
29. You’re a tough cookie
30. I have a lot of respect for you
31. Your choices matter
32. You are a blessing to me
33. You’re capable of achieving your dreams
34. I have faith in you
35. I love your cuddles
36. You never cease to amaze me
37. Being with you is fun
38. Thank you
39. You’re both imperfect and amazing
40. You are unique
41. I can rely on you
42. I admire your inner strength
43. You are loved
44. My world is better because you’re in it
45. Trust your instincts
46. I could never stop loving you
47. You are important to me
48. You can create great things
49. Being your mom is my favorite job
50. I learn so much from you!
51. You make a difference
52. Your words are powerful
53. I’m happy you’re here
54. I believe in you
55. Your actions are powerful
56. Your emotions are valid
57. You are exactly who you are meant to be
58. Believe in yourself
59. You are valuable
60. Your ideas matter
61. I appreciate all of your help
62. You are enough
63. Thank you for being you
64. You are deserving
65. I trust you
66. I enjoy your company
67. I’m happy talking with you
68. You are worthy
69. I love how playful you are
70. You have great ideas
71. I love being your mom
72. Go for it!
73. Nothing compares to you
74. You make a difference
75. You make my heart full
76. You always have a choice
77. Please forgive me!
78. I pray for you
79. Seeing you happy makes me happy
80. You make me better
81. I hear you
82. Everything will be fine
83. I’ll always love you
84. Try everything
85. Be proud of yourself
86. You are beautiful inside and out
87. I am happy for you
88. Our family is better with you
89. I forgive you
90. The world needs you
91. You have so much to offer
92. I can relate
93. I will always be here for you
94. You’ve got this!
95. I accept who you are
96. Your attitude can change any situation
97. I love seeing the world your way
98. I support you
99. Believe in your abilities
100. Your life has meaning
101. I LOVE YOU unconditionally!

These are words every mom needs to say to her child or teen, so be sure to pin this image  for other moms to see. Also, you can click here for a FREE PRINTABLE, so you can keep it handy! I also have a list of positive words from A Z that you can use to customize your child’s list.

When used right, encouraging words can have a positive and powerful effect on our children, tweens, and teens. Always ask yourself “Are my words building them up or tearing them down?”

Our sons and daughters need encouragement along their journey to growing and becoming who they are meant to be.

What positive phrases are you going to say more often to your child or teen? Share with us in the comment area below.

[ela]