It’s Time To Trash Your To Do List!

We’re all familiar with it, we’ve all made one, we’ve all striven to complete it, and we’ve all failed… miserably.The dreaded to-do list is every mom’s worst enemy.

You’re probably thinking “I’m a list person… I like to check things off.” And I’ll give you that. The issue is that we become list slaves, placing our value, our worth, and our sanity into what we did or didn’t get DONE during a given day. If that’s where you’re at, it’s time to trash your to do list… today…NOW!

It's Time To Trash Your To Do List! ~ by Elayna Fernandez ~The Positive MOM

I’m sure I’m not revealing shocking news here: trying to DO everything…for everyone leaves moms frustrated, overwhelmed, and depleted. It produces mommy guilt and letdown because “checking everything off,” “pleasing everyone,” or “meeting everyone’s needs” are all unattainable goals. If someone ever told you they achieved any of these, they lied…blatantly and mercilessly.

Do you want to know the ONE secret to instantly eliminate OVERWHELM, struggle, and burnout?

It’s no secret at all, but rather a clarification of a huge misconception. To infuse a little suspense here, I’d like you to ask yourself these 3 questions:

The Positive MOM transparent imagethe Positive Mom arrowWho do I want to help?
What do I want to help them achieve?
Who do I need to BE in order to do that?

LOVE is about whom you can BE for the people who matter most to you and NOT what you can do “for them.” Instead of a to-do list, we must intentionally, consciously, and purposely list whom we want to BE, instead. After all, we are human BEings, not human doings!

I came across this concept during a moment in which I was literally clueless about what I was going to do with my life. I didn’t know the next step. I couldn’t really come up with an action plan. Writing a to do list didn’t even cross my mind. Almost out of survival, I decided what I could BE… and I wrote a TO BE LIST for myself, instead. It completely transformed my life experience.

Life is not something you DO or get DONE. Life is a journey, an experience. If you are tired of struggling with the juggling, living on autopilot, and always in catch up mode, then it is time to stop doing and start BEing!

To write your TO BE LIST, you must identify the qualities, virtues, and characteristics you most want to embody.

  • Are YOU… joyful, balanced, engaged, responsive, nurturing?
  • Do you wish to be empowered, serene, and loving?
  • Do you crave feeling passionate, adventurous, and playful?

Your TO BE LIST will be filled with words of YOUR CHOICE that will empower you to be mindful of your choices, and careful about the activities and events you will choose to participate in, the people you will choose to be around, the places you will choose to go to, the conversations you will engage in… everything you will choose to say YES to and NO to throughout your day.

Even though our beautiful tender nurturing nature is a blessing, it could often turn against us, leaving us depleted, depressed, and defeated.  We must shift our mindset! The people who truly love you hate to see you like that… especially when it’s “for them.” They CRAVE to see you happy, excited, anxiously engaged in a good cause!

Remember what I always say: The Best Gift You Can Give The People In Your Life Is A Happier YOU!

Children often do not even acknowledge all you do, do, do — or forget it much too soon. They love for you to be fully present, in deep engagement, and sharing authentic joy.

I challenge you to trash your to do list and create a TO BE list that is in alignment with your passions, core principles and values. It makes for a very first step on your journey to JOY, BALANCE, and SUCCESS on YOUR own terms.

Have the courage to be the best version of YOU you could possibly be, while remembering that PERFECT is not allowed on your To-BE list and that it is NOT a “Supposed To BE” list either!

BEing the Best You you can be is the first step to BEing the best anything you want to be: mom, wife, colleague, friend, leader, blogger, woman… human BEing. It will expand, enlarge, and magnify your life experience… and you will inspire others (including your kids) to do the same!

Elayna Fernandez - Author - 
Speaker - Success Guide to Moms and Mompreneurs
© Elayna Fernández ~ The Positive MOM

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79 thoughts on “It’s Time To Trash Your To Do List!

  1. I’m so on this. I was about to have a total breakdown yesterday over all of the stuff on my to-do list that was important, but not more important than my littles.

  2. I actually started Chalene Johnson’s 30 Day PUSH & I make daily to-do lists. But, it’s all about obtaining goals, not simply doing tasks for the day.

  3. My bloggy to-do list is important because without it, I would be lost. I think my homelife to-do list can be crumbled up though. I like to go with the flow there.

  4. This is a great concept . Who wants to be told what to do? No one Who wants to be asked what they want? Everyone 🙂

  5. While I have to have a To do list to remember everything that needs to be done each day (otherwise I forget some really important things if it’s not written down) I totally get what you are saying. It is far more important to BE the right type of person than to DO the right amount of things. no one will remember that you did 5 loads of laundry one day. but they will remember that you were full of love and happiness and made the home a happy place.

  6. A to-be list sounds great. I’m a planner though and have a goldfish memory so if I didn’t write everything down that needs doing, my house would look like an episode of Hoarders, we’d be starving, and nothing would get done.

  7. You are right, my son likes me to be fully attentive to him. It’s hard though when I have 100 things going on all at once. Some of our best days is when we just go out and don’t plan anything. No to do list! Just pure enjoying each other

  8. Lists are not only frustrating for Moms! Us singles drive ourselves crazy with them as well. I am admittedly a list maker–but at least now I don’t try to get everything accomplished–unless its a grocery list!

  9. I have been feeling like the to-do list has been monopolizing my life, while my littles sit idle beside me just waiting for it all to get done. Thank you for sharing this post, because I am so done with being on autopilot! I am ready to start being once again. xo

  10. I’m not a slave to my ‘to do’ lists…they are just a breakdown of the things i need to do, and really serve as a reminder because if I don’t write something down – I will forget.

    I think I might make a ‘to be’ list for myself.

  11. I have to have a to do list with reminder alerts or else I literally get nothing done. But I only put important, must do, deadline specific things on it. Like medication, appointments and work stuff. Everything else I just try my best to get done in a timely manner but I don’t stress it. I like the idea of a to be list to though, that sounds stress free!

  12. This is a very motivating post. I am not a list person. I try to be as nurturing and loving as I can to be to my family but my past sometimes get in the way and how I was treated. I try real hard not to be that person…it’s a daily struggle for me.

  13. The to do list is my guide throughout the day. Although I don’t accomplish them all in a certain time that’s fine, at first it was truly frustrating to me but later on I realized why it exist.

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  17. I love this idea of the ToBe List. I handled myself more like that before having kids. What I called “my laid-back Caribbean mindset”. Adjusting to having 3 little ones is different and it leads to overwhelm, especially when being also a mompreneur.

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