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From Worrier to Warrior: How To Fight Worrying In 3 Steps

My grandfather’s name was Manuel Guerrero, therefore, my second last name means WARRIOR in English. He embodied his last name, and that made many admire him to the point that it was contagious. I was talking about this at the Women Warriors show where I was interviewed last Wednesday about Balancing Your Passions.

from worrier to warrior - elayna fernandez the positive mom - how to fight worrying in 3 steps

This is a woman warrior:

She leads from her heart with STRENGTH, WISDOM and PASSION
She combats the struggles in life with compassion and grace, by creating a battle plan, fighting off her fears, and capitalizing on her strengths
Utilizes vigor, courage and assertiveness to sustain and motivate herself in the pursuit of her goals 
Offers a unique diversity of thoughts, strengths, and actions to create powerful, amazing results
She actively practices self-care, celebrates even the smallest victories and strives for more balance and fulfillment in her life.

I concur. As a matter of fact, one of my favorite books of all time is “Warrior of Light”, an exquisite manual by Paulo Coelho. My best friend gave this book to me many years ago and it’s become a treasure. In it, you will see what it takes to be a warrior… not just any kind, but one that stands for peace, love, and joy.

The issue at hand is that, at times, we are indulging in self-pity, overcome by our fears, and too burdened  by our worries to shine our inner light. I believe that worrying is filling your imagination with situations and feelings you don’t want to create.

Like you, I want to savor each day as it is a brand new opportunity to live, love, and refine myself. There is no Carpe Diem in worrying: it’s a waste of our precious time and energy on this Earth and a detour from our grand destiny as children of a powerful God.

How To Fight Worrying In 3 Steps

Since worry fills our head with worst-case scenarios that paralyze us with fear, negative self-talk that brings us down, and sometimes foolish “what ifs” that rarely happen, we must break this destructive habit. I’m not talking about a healthy concern that will move us forward, help us improve, or keep us safe; I’m talking about the type that makes us tense, edgy, anxious, and depressed; the one that interferes with our enjoyment of our lives, work, and relationships.

  1. Let Go and Let God.  Yes, you guessed it, this is the solution to many problems of various kinds. According to statistics, 40% of what we worry about never happens and 30% of what we worry about has already happened. This is self-explanatory [and a little bit ridiculous… ok, a lot!] and I’m reminding myself of it day by day since the present is our gift and God is in control.
  2. Question Your Worries. You know the drill: our beliefs become our thoughts, our thoughts our words and actions, our actions our results. If we want different or better results, we start by questioning our beliefs.  How am I reacting to this thought?/Is it in my best interest for me to think this way? Is it ABSOLUTELY true?  Is there another way to look at it?  What is a realistic probability that it will happen/not happen?  What would I say if someone I love came to me with this worry?
  3. Count Your Blessings. The Bible mocks worrying by comparing it to “counting the hairs on your head” (talk about craaaaazeeeey!). Counting our everyday blessings is far wiser and more enjoyable.  Hey, I’m not saying life is perfect  and some people, places, and situations can get annoying, to say the least. It is about being GRATEFUL and DETERMINED to EMBRACE this beautifully IMPERFECT day. CHOOSE to SMILE about everything and for no reason at all. Many seek HAPPINESS in denial, indulgence, or oblivion… I know YOU and I find it in GRATITUDE. 

When we postpone our worries by questioning them, we let go of our hallucinations for the future or hung ups of the past, and we put our life in context, — looking at what we have, what we enjoy, what we are blessed with, focusing ONLY in greeting the day with love in our hearts — we train our brains and we can become positive and powerful!

You can develop this ability to live in the moment. Trust me, I teach the message I need. We all have thoughts that disempower us, but only a select few DECIDE to not dwell there. It is NOT EASY!  I’ve been there. As a stuck, penniless single mom, clueless as to how I was going to make it…or make ends meet, I had to practice a lot and practice makes progress… NEVER IMPOSSIBLE and ALWAYS WORTH IT. Have faith, and be a warrior (time to re-read the definition of woman warrior above lol).

I believe the great paradox of life is that we learn from our past and prepare for our future ONLY when we find JOY in the present.

That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.  Will YOU join me?


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