I Don’t Hate Her Because She’s Successful

From FORBES, the USA Today, CNN, Fortune, the Washington Post, the New Yorker, the New York Times, and even SHAPE magazine, Sheryl Sandberg seems to be everywhere these days.

Despite the controversial comments throughout the media, The Chief Operating Officer of Facebook is described as “Confidence Woman” and “arguably one of the most powerful women in America” in an article by Belinda Luscombe in March 2013 TIME Magazine, which I picked up at LAX last week… and yes, she made the cover!

Furthermore, Sandberg wrote an article on page 44, titled “Why I Want Women to Lean In,” which seeks to explain her philosophy, the essence of her new book “Lean In – Women, Work and the Will to Lead” and the movement that goes along with it.

Sandberg invites women to be more outspoken, aggressive, and confident, so they may advance in their careers, achieving C-level positions. She celebrates the progress made in women’s rights but complains that we have a far way to go.

Sandberg’s TED Talk addressed 3 main messages for keeping women in the workforce:

1. Sit At The Table ~ Sandberg wants women to have the confidence to raise their hands and to sit at the executive table and physically and literally lean in to stand out in the workplace.
2. Make Your Partner A Real Partner ~ The Facebook COO leads by example, sharing parenting responsibilities with husband Dave Goldberg. She says moms having the biggest chunk of the household chores pie is not caused by men’s football watching and general laziness, but it’s actually a benefit women don’t claim or contribute to establishing as a culture.
3. Don’t Leave Before You Leave ~  Sandberg explains how women often deny themselves room for advancement in the workplace in order to make room for personal fulfillment through marriage and children, often sabotaging themselves of opportunities long before they actually have to.

With the bad rap, Sheryl Sandberg is getting (as well as gal pal mommy executive Marissa Mayer, Yahoo! CEO), it’s ironic that one of the points Sheryl Sandberg is emphasizing is precisely on success and like-ability. According to Sandberg, studies show that not only does society puts more pressure on boys than on girls to succeed, “like-ability positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women”, so when women do succeed, they are… umm despised. Women who want to be accepted and fear of being criticized often edit themselves and don’t claim the success they long for in the workplace.

Do I hate Sheryl Sandberg? Oh no, no way! I celebrate her because she is successful and because she has the courage to follow and balance her passions, providing a voice to those who were born to lead, like she was. I remember there was a time in my life when I was convinced I wanted to have the lifestyle she has and stands for. My mom was sure I would go in that direction. My priorities have sure changed. Homeschooling and spending quantity and quality time with my girls rank higher than C-level positions or zeros on a paycheck…

Sheryl Sandberg is ambitious, successful, and powerful… what’s not to love? I don’t think tearing each other down as women is constructive, or the way out of women’s issues. And I certainly don’t think Sandberg’s enemies should omit or ignore her specific statement that “this is not the answer for everyone.”

She’s obviously not talking to me, and perhaps neither to you. My home-based business is not a billion-dollar social network and the only table I want to sit on is the dinner table. But thank God for Sheryl Sandberg… because some women are craving her message, and will be blessed by it and by her. What a beautiful gift that is.

Unlike what we read on Joanne Bamberger’s February 26 USA Today article, “the message from Yahoo and Facebook executives” is NOT guilt… it is empowerment for a specific group of women whose passion is career success. No one can make us feel guilty without our consent and we should not judge [or hate] someone and their choices just because they are different or have different passions.

Let’s love, accept, and recognize Sheryl Sandberg… and all the women and men who are strong, assertive, and exercisers of their ability to choose for themselves what is right for them and their family. Don’t hate them because they are successful! YOU GROW GIRL!

Elayna is a single mom of 4, award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 4x TEDx speaker. Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results, so you can have the wealth, opportunities, and freedom you deserve. Connect with Elayna Fernández at thepositivemom.com/keynote-speaker and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

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