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The True Measure Of A Man

This weekend has been incredibly transformational for me. I went to a workshop about understanding and celebrating men. [ Yes, you heard me right. ] I  am thankful for the clarity I received. “TRUTH is LIGHT.”

We studied men a lot. At the final stretch of the event, they brought 4 random men of different ages and stages and we got to ask them questions about what they love about women, what frustrates them, what they are attracted to… 

Their answers not only validated everything we learned, but touched us truly deeply because they were unanimous:

  1. A healthy honorable man is naturally attracted to a woman’s body but enchanted by her personality. They love a confident woman who smiles and feels comfortable in their own skin and size. “I wouldn’t date a supermodel with a nasty attitude” “I have been married 43 years and she’s the same person I married” “she’s not just a body” “I love being with her for her, not her make up” … were some of my favorite answers.
  2. A healthy honorable man wants to be our hero. They love to make us happy and to know EXACTLY what we need and what we want. They want us to be direct. They don’t want to have to guess and they cannot stand hints! “Just ask, teach us, show us” they pleaded.
  3. A healthy honorable man wants to be in partnership with us. They are team-oriented and they want us to be on the same team, not the competing one. They deeply desire to provide for our every need and want!
  4. A healthy honorable man loves to make us laugh and makes us happy. He feels excited to be a source of support, relief, safety and protection.
  5. A healthy honorable man desires a a woman with feminine demeanor. They appreciate a woman who is strong but carries herself with grace and can be nurturing and fun. They feel enchanted by a woman who is sweet, loving, caring and tender.
  6. A healthy honorable man craves respect and high esteem from his female partner, his cheerleader. They too want affirmation, attention and appreciation.
  7. A healthy honorable man wants his woman to have time for herself, relax and have fun. They love it when we have replenished our energy and feel sexy and renewed.

What blew my mind reminds me of a quote I once read by Martin Luther King, Jr. :

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

We’ll know we have a healthy honorable man who loves us when he is committed to us. They have the goal of making it work with us and they are willing to go all out to do so…no matter what. It doesn’t matter how many years or pounds later, they are loyal and appreciative of what we have to offer. When we understand, love, appreciate and celebrate our healthy honorable men, they return the favor in such a generous, amazing way it is a miracle beyond words. Men are beautiful. They are God’s gift to women!

My Main Men

I was browsing through things I’ve written and I found this note I wrote on 8/30/2009 about three powerfully strong men who add love and laughter to my life.

From left to right:

1-The One With the Most Real and Accurate Insights, the playful one, the one who makes everyone laugh at the not-so-funny-moments, the youngest one, the musician, the peace promoter, the one who’s been making fun of my height since he was 9 years old and taller than me LOL

2-The One Who’s Been An Angel To Me, my support, “Medicine” when I’ve been sick or hurting emotionally, the one who rescued me when my life seemed over (over and over again!), the giver, the diplomatic, the mediator, the smartest person I know.

3-The One Whose Belief in Me Never Fails, the one who taught me I could have and be what my heart desired, the one who taught me to love myself no matter what…the one who always says the right thing to make me feel better, even when he has no clue I needed those words, the funniest man ever and my number one fan!

Eniel Fernández, Eleyrin Fernández, Milciades Fernández, I Love You and I am Blessed to have you in my life! I am so happy I captured this memorable moment!

Family is forever…In time of test, family is best!

Elayna is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 4x TEDx speaker. Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results, so you can have the wealth, opportunities, and freedom you deserve. Connect with Elayna Fernández at thepositivemom.com/keynote-speaker and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

Be Positive and You Will Be Powerful ~ Elayna FernandBe Positive and You Will Be Powerful ~ Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOMez ~ The Positive MOM
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Saturday 21st of December 2013

What a great perspective!

Elayna Fernandez

Friday 25th of November 2011

Yes, I agree, Karinee. One of my favorite sayings is "nothing works until you do" and I think it applies to relationships even more than anything else. I will keep my eyes open so you can have this opportunity. <3

Elayna Fernandez

Friday 25th of November 2011

this is beautiful Shaka!


Wednesday 23rd of November 2011

This is great!! Wshing I could attend a workshop like that! I believe any woman in a relationship should try on understanding their man :)