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When People Walk Away From You, Let Them Go

Throughout my life, I have learned many lessons that have become more like core mottoes in my life. A very meaningful and kind of a big deal one is:

When People Walk Away From You, Let Them Go.

You see, I used to be very ATTACHED co-dependent. It was the kind of “loyalty” that forces you to stay in a relationship, friendship, or partnership way too long because you just must GO ALONG TO GET ALONG. Getting along, avoiding conflict, being nice… they’re all closely related to being a doormat!

The Buddhists believe that attachment is the primary human source of suffering. That makes sense, but letting go is not as simple as singing your way to the North Mountain to build an Ice Castle where you’ll live happily ever after.

Everything in life requires us to relinquish control and let go… especially this divine role of motherhood you and I have faithfully accepted. When I worked for someone else, I left my kids at daycare. Before I homeschooled, there was the first day of kindergarten; before I know it, they will go on a mission, off to college… and will get married. I get ahead of myself… but don’t we all?

I digress… just want to be clear that I have NOT yet mastered the art of letting go. I don’t think anyone can.  As a Christian, I strive to keep an eternal perspective because I think pain comes when we don’t remember that all endings are also beginnings.
when someone walks away from you let them goI have learned to rejoice in the end of relationships, friendships, and partnerships. I am not saying I break into a maniacal laugh or that I numb my feelings. It is actually more like being at peace with closing a chapter, because when it’s meant to be, it is. Having trust in a bigger plan brings peace, strength, and joy.

Letting someone go doesn’t mean you don’t care about them anymore. I recently established some boundaries with someone that showed me and my family “her true colors” and I wish her well and send her love. Trust me, it is hurtful to accept that someone who is “supposed to be grateful” simply doesn’t value you, or takes you for granted, but when we swallow our giant egos, we can focus on the facts and understand the clear message they are communicating with their actions, even when their words are vague, or even flattering with the intent to manipulate.

More than once, I have realized that walking away is actually a step forward. After I stopped focusing on how she acted, I started to experience a great deal of freedom. All of a sudden, doors opened and I now have time available to walk through them. God showed me that moving on is necessary to avoid the pain of staying stuck where I didn’t belong and what was derailing me from my true purpose. What you allow is what will continue.

Through each “break up” I have learned to never force anything. I do my best, I love generously, I speak truthfully and openly (which sometimes expedites the process), I stop holding on, and just let it be. I also learned valuable advice from one of my favorite books:

Don’t take anything personally. Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. — The Four Agreements ~ Don Miguel Ruiz.

I encourage you examine your relationships, friendships, and partnerships carefully. I guarantee you that when you finally find the courage to let go of what doesn’t serve you, it will be one of the most rewarding, most freeing practices in your life.

YOU are good enough just as you are and there’s no need to modify who you are for others’ approval or validation. Self-mastery is a great goal… and it’s achieved out of personal inner motivation. Let go, let God, and everything will fall into place!

What have you learned from letting go of friendships, relationships, and partnerships that didn’t serve you any longer?

[ela]

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Faith

Thursday 15th of October 2015

I'm in an abusive relationship,but then I luv the guy I am still failing to break-up with him,it's still hard to let go.

Are you surrounded by toxic people? ★ Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM ♥

Tuesday 7th of July 2015

[…] If someone chooses to be a downer no matter how much I try to cheer them up, I respect them, I just let them know we’re going to talk about something different because I am not interested in much complaining (because more often than not, they are not planning to do anything about it). Much of the time, I don’t cut negative people out of my life, they choose to leave on their own because my positivity annoys them to no end. LOL I have a rule about that: when people walk away from you, let them go. […]

Jackie Houston

Friday 5th of September 2014

Couldn't agree more. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason!

April

Thursday 4th of September 2014

My mother was a grudge holder and someone that wouldn't talk about important feelings. My mentality and happiness improved when I accepted that I couldn't change her or her mind until she was ready, and that as mother and child we had a bond that surpassed all that. I remember the love, and try to not make the same mistakes in how I treat my children. I also try not to vent my anger toward her in from of my children because they have their own memories, good and bad, and I don't think my issues should cloud their minds. Thanks for the post- and the comment over on my site. :) Have a good weekend!

Lori

Wednesday 3rd of September 2014

Wow, this very topic has been weighing heavily on my mind. Letting go is hard to do, but when you finally are able to the freedom and peace that come afterwards is priceless. Thank you so much for this post!