Teaching Our Kids How To Show Affection On Valentine’s Day

Disclosure HBO / DiMe Media

Around Valentine’s Day, there is much emphasis in showing and expressing love, and I’ve been talking about how letting your children know they are unconditionally loved is more beneficial and important than constantly pushing them to succeed. I always daydream about a world where we are collectively and individually focusing more on developing a family than we are on achievement.

Teaching Our Kids To Show Affection On Valentines Day

I am personally on a journey of spreading the awareness that meritocracy must be taken out of our homes, and ultimately, out of our society, and to look at unconditional support as a gift, not a reward.

My wish is supported by research and science. Many studies support the notion that consistent unconditional affection and support affects positively a child’s mental wellbeing, promotes physical health, improves brain development, and overall life success.

When our kids grow up in a warm, loving, nurturing environment where they feel safe, they thrive, learn more, and experience more happiness.

I say this because children learn to relate to others from how we relate to them, and how we relate to others. “Do as I do” is more powerful than “do as I say,” or “actions speak louder than words.

As a Latina mom, of course, I know what it’s like to grow up in a mostly affectionate family, and the power of balancing out discipline with affection. I know that I want my kids to know that showing feelings of affection is a healthy and beautiful daily practice.

As moms, we can do small things every day to make our kids feel loved, and to teach them how to show affection in a positive way. They don’t take much time or cost much money, yet they can make a HUGE difference.

  • unplug from electronics and listen!
  • kiss them when they allow it
  • involve them in what you do
  • embrace them with tenderness, and ask for a hug back
  • play with them
  • offer words of affirmation, compassion, and support
  • make eye contact
  • write them love notes or letters
  • smile at them and laugh with them
  • make gifts for them and cherish their gifts

As you set an example, kids will learn to reciprocate that affection and love, and to expand their signs of affection in their relationships with others.

One word of caution is that we must send the strong message, verbally and by example, that our kids’ bodies belong to them and no one gets a say in how they use it to express affection (or not). To be considered safe and acceptable, physical affection should be enjoyable for all involved. I am a strong believer in allowing our little ones to decide what is appropriate and to listen to their self-protective instincts. There’s a difference between abundance of manners and lack of boundaries!

As we teach our kids to be affectionate, to give from the heart, to show love and care, we can also teach them to say NO in a respectful way, when displaying physical affection doesn’t feel right to them.

Whether kids see mom and dad holding hands, sharing pecks, or saying “I love You‘s,” it models healthy relationships, demonstrating that showing love and affection is part of our every day.

When I see my daughters compliment each other, give each other little homemade gifts, and hug and kiss each other, or share their favorite things with each other, I feel so happy and fulfilled. My Little Pige is always asking for us to go “love each other on the couch,” because she knows that is something that is available, and everyone around here is comfortable asking for it, and receiving it.

We all feel loving emotions, and even with our busy schedules, we can all find opportunities to show we love each other, beyond having to buy the latest gadget or the most popular toy, outfit, or shoes. As we show love in different ways , children find ideas to do the same with friends and family.

Sesame Street on HBO - Valentine's Day Twitter Party and Episode Teaching Kids How To Show Affection

This Saturday, February 13, HBO Latino will feature a new episode of Sesame Street including a great lesson to kids on how to show affection to family and friends. And I’ll be joining the conversation on Twitter party from 9-10 AM EST/8-9 AM CST using the #SesameStreetonHBO and #HBOLatino hashtags.

The special Sesame Street Valentine’s Day episode will air on HBO at 9 am ET, and in Spanish on HBO Latino at the same time, so we will be sharing all the ways we encourage children to share love and affection to friends and family.

It will be a great opportunity for you to chime in and let us know how you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your children and how they’ve learned way to express affection towards family. Our friends at Sesame Street will help us out using bilingual words, which, of course, is very dear to my heart, and fun for everyone!

Sesame Street on HBO Valentine Day’s Twitter Party Details:

What: Sesame Street Valentine’s Day Twitter Party
When: Saturday February 13th from 9-10 AM EST (6 – 7 AM PST)
Where: Twitter
Hashtag: #SesameStreetonHBO AND #HBOLatino
Who to Follow:
Brand: @HBO @HBOLatino
Co-Hosts: @ThePositiveMom_ @247ModernMom @GrowUpBilingual @Mamaxxi @7onaShoeString
Moderators: @DiMeMedia @JollyMom
Winners will be selected at random, for a total of four (4) winners, each winning an HBO/Sesame Street Prize Packs: Branded tote, children’s apron, wooden cooking utensil set, measuring cups and a Sesame Street cookbook. Each prize pack will have a Visa Gift Card – YAY!
RULES: Click HERE for the Official Rules
RSVP: To be eligible to win prizes, you must RSVP at DiMe Media – HERE!

See you at the Twitter party! Make sure you bring pictures of past Valentine’s Day treats, and fun, and get ready for healthy Valentine’s Day recipe ideas for the whole family.

How did your parents teach you to show affection? Do you teach your kids differently? What prize do you want to win at the Twitter party? Tell us everything in the comments below!

Elayna Fernandez - Author - 
Speaker - Success Guide to Moms and Mompreneurs
© Elayna Fernández ~ The Positive MOM

I’d love to keep connected with you! Join my Instagram community | Watch me on Periscope Subscribe to blog post Updates | Like on Facebook | Follow on Twitter

41 thoughts on “Teaching Our Kids How To Show Affection On Valentine’s Day

  1. We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, but my kids show affection when it counts – the other 364 days of the year.

  2. This is great post. One thing that we always do is give each other a hug, kiss and I love you before we go to bed or leave the house.

  3. It is great to celebrate Valentine’s day, however, I think the best way to show affection is to do it everyday. Valentine’s day is to commemorate and celebrate the love. Showing affection is 24 hours, 7 days a week for 52 weeks repeated every year.

  4. My kiddos are super good with this. They are the most loving and affectionate kiddos. I’m so glad too, I can’t wait for Valentines with them!

  5. I always do my best to show how much I love my child I always want him to feel safe enough to be able to come to me with whatever problems he has. We have a special bond that I hope we always have a special bond.

  6. I love this post! I try everyday to show my kids unconditional love and affection and as I watch them out in the world I can see it paying off by the way they treat others with compassion. I’ll take that over a 100% spelling test any day!

  7. I am so blessed to have affectionate kids. My little guy is 6 years old and he loves it when I come to his class, he still hugs and kisses me in front of my friends, I’m so glad!

  8. These are great piThe longest tennis match in history was played over three days and included how many strokes by the American born player?
    ointers. My daughter who is ten was sick yesterday but today, she feels better and she asked me if she can cook dinner. Although I hesitated but I let her because she wants to show her love for us.

  9. These are great pointers. My daughter who is ten was sick yesterday but today, she feels better and she asked me if she can cook dinner. Although I hesitated but I let her because she wants to show her love for us.

  10. These are some fabulous tips!!! I try really handled to include my daughter in Valentine’s Day stuff! Really important that kids learn how to be affectionate

  11. I feel lucky that my kids are affectionate. It’s important to be a good example when it comes to loving and caring, that way they grow up to be loving as well.

Share Your Thoughts

You have to agree to the comment policy.