5 Practical Strategies To Ease The Stress Of Motherhood

Is motherhood stressing you out? Stress, by definition, is “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.” That sounds familiar! Motherhood is a privilege and a blessing, yet it is okay to admit that it can also be a stressful juggling act. If you sometimes feel burnt out, on the verge of exhaustion, and feel like you’re about to lose your head, you are not alone.

There’s literally no need to talk about why motherhood can, at times, feel overwhelming, so I want to dive right into the simple, doable, practical strategies to ease the stress of motherhood so you can take what resonates with you and start putting it into action.

5 practical strategies to ease the stress of motherhood - by Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOMThe 5 A’s of Stress Relief ~ Sanity Saving Strategies For Moms

There are five ways you can ease the stresses of each day. They are simple yet not effortless. And, they won’t make the stress go away forever, banished into thin are never to come back again. These five practices are powerful and have changed my life for the best, as well as impacted the way I parent my daughters in a positive, powerful, transformational way.

 AVOID Stress

Much of the stress we go through is self-imposed. I’m not saying we invite drama and chaos into our lives, just that we let the door open and it sneaks in uninvited.

  1. Plan ahead ~ Avoid situations, people, and places that trigger you, drain you, or tend to get the best of you, and when strictly necessary to face them (i.e. driving in rush hour), prepare yourself before it happens.
  2. Say NO often ~ decline invitations, requests, and “opportunities” that don’t serve you. Saying NO gives you the freedom to say yes to what truly matters.
  3. Prioritize ~ Get clear on your top 5 passions and your To Be list, and make sure they come first on your calendar. Use time management tools to focus on what matters most: important vs. urgent.

ALTER What Stresses YOU

Personal responsibility has proven to be a sanity saver in my life. You can too take charge and be proactive in changing some of the tension builders in your life.

  1. Detox ~ Cut out any toxic relationships to create space in your life for purpose, positivity, and peace.
  2. Boundaries ~ Let those you want to keep around know EXACTLY how you wish to be treated and ask them to communicate their boundaries, as well. Check out my series on how to set clear firm healthy boundaries without feeling guilty.
  3. Share ~ Honor your feelings, be vulnerable, and willing to ask for help.

ACCEPT  and Move On

Acceptance is not settling, but simply loving what is and learning to embrace it because it will remain unchanged.

  1. Find the positive ~ It may take deep digging, however, there is opposition in all things so there is for sure something you can be glad about in every situation. Finding that perspective allows you to regain your inner power; remember: be positive and you will be powerful!
  2. Find the lesson ~ I know I’ve fallen flat on my face so many times and it has NOT been pretty. I’ve thought there’s no good, just plain bad and ugly. Thankfully, I’ve been proven wrong each time,in hindsight, because we can learn and when we learn, we succeed.
  3. Find peace ~ I’d love to know whether you crave peace as much as I do. I believe we were created to experience JOY, BALANCE, and SUCCESS in our lives, and guess what? The product of all these is peace. Some of the so very hard ways to find peace are: forgiveness, humility, love… pretty much all the fruits of the Spirit.

ADAPT To What Is

With the years, I’ve seen a clear pattern in myself and those around me: the more inflexible we are and the higher our expectations, the more unfulfilled and chaotic our existence.

  1. Redefine Success ~ What if you started celebrating ALL achievements as mundane as they may seem? What if you decided that every day you are given free air to breathe, you are a success? I assure you life will be more rewarding as you forsake unrealistic expectations, shoulds / should have’s, and supposed to’s that only bring you guilt, overwhelm, and defeat.
  2. Redefine Enough ~ Sometimes the issue is not succeeding or being perfect, but feeling like a failure, like you are not enough, like you don’t measure up. The good news is that you can choose what enough means and match it to what you have. Adapt your mindset to what will give you confidence and that
    confidence will drive you forward and higher.
  3. Reframe The Situation ~ Of course, I already recommended to find the positive side of the issue AND the lesson you can learn. You can also view the issue from a long term perspective. I know it’s silly to admit, but many of the things that stress me, annoy me, or irritate me are often so
    minuscule and of no relevance in the big scheme of things. Usually a deep breath and a one-second-prayer can get me out of a cranky mood because I remind myself that “this, too, shall pass” and it won’t matter a year from now, let alone five or ten years. This works really well because once i’m able
    to get past the frustration, I can think clearly and, at times, even put the puzzle pieces together to make sense of what is happening.

AFFIRM and Kick The Stress Out With Words

Sometimes all you can do is speak light into darkness. Affirming is one of my favorite steps because it’s a great way to stop the inner bully and get through obstacles, challenges, or fearsome situations.

  1. Practice Thought-Stopping ~ Stop the inner bully in her tracks. It may sound crazy, but I often confront her and put my foot down: “I refuse to believe you!”
  2. Self-Motivate ~ I’ve used this technique a lot in my life because I’ve often felt alone and didn’t have anyone to cheer for me or to infuse faith in me. Tell yourself “Yes, I can!,” “Keep going!,” “Don’t give up!,” and whatever language in whatever person (first or second) that works to keep you pushing through.
  3. Start Each Day With Intention ~ Whenever I consciously start my day with Scripture study, prayer, and affirmations of faith, gratitude, and positivity, I can see such a difference in my day and I don’t have to use thought-stopping and self-motivation as much, because the day flows better.

And…we’re done. Consider this your go-to blueprint for sanity. It’s not going to be easy, and self-doubt may sink in, especially if you’re a Type A or recovering perfectionist such as moi…but if I can do it, YOU can do it.

Which of these techniques do you already practice to take the stress out of your motherhood demands? Are you willing to try anything new that stuck out when you read it? Share it all with me in the comments below… and make it a point to have a sane, peaceful, stress-free day!

Elayna Fernandez - Author - 
Speaker - Success Guide to Moms and Mompreneurs
© Elayna Fernández ~ The Positive MOM

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93 thoughts on “5 Practical Strategies To Ease The Stress Of Motherhood

  1. Planning ahead is the biggest thing for me. If I am prepared for anything, I won’t get stressed if something happens! I’ll just be prepared.

  2. I am always trying to find the lessons each day. From how I responded to my kids to how I should have responded to why the situation happened in the first place.

  3. I do struggle with self care and boundaries. Being a mom to three step kids who are older teens and a child whos younger with special needs is a lot of work. Boundaries are important for survival

  4. I’ve learned to say no in real life and it does help. I’ve had to relearn to say it with blogging! Crazy I Forgot, right? 🙂 IF you say yes to everything though, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.

    • Oh yes! Saying NO is important both in business and personal endeavors. And with blogging, it’s good to be selective of the brands that we work with so that we are not dreading the posts and truly let our creativity flow. Wise words, Rosey (as usual)!

  5. I’m working on saying no right now. After being a “yes-man” for so long, it’s really hard to pick and choose what to say no to, and then stand by that decision! It’s so important for moms to guard their time and energy and save it for their families.

  6. If there’s a Mom out there that can say she’s never felt the stress of motherhood, I’d love to meet her! lol I think we all have bouts of it, and truly, it’s how we manage that stress that matters!

  7. These are all great tips. I find that the older my kids get, the less stressed I am at home. The flipside to that is we are more active with activities and sports, etc and now it’s a constant go, go, go!

  8. There is so much information packed I to your post. I definitely need to do two things. Learn to say no, and reassess what makes me enough. Wonderful post!

  9. Great tips! I feel like there definitely isn’t enough talk around how stressful and demanding motherhood is. I love how you laid it all out there and provided very useful and non-judgemental tips. Thank you.

  10. These are excellent tips and suggestions. I know that I’m a planner and it drives me crazy when my child waits until the last minute to tell me she needs a ride, ect.

    I have learned to say no more often too.

  11. I think the hardest thing for me as a new mother was telling people no without feeling bad. Now that I have two little ones I am able to say no more easier. Of course there are times I help others however that is after I ensure that my family and I are taken care of first!

  12. I absolutely love the kick the stress out with words. Before reading this post, I was stressed -with my husband. It’s insane, you’re bring light into darkness hit me hard. I stopped reading and wrote an open letter of how I felt. I feel empowered once again. Such a great post! Keep up the awesome work. 🙂

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  15. I love this post! The thing that resonated with me the most is the thing that I do the least, which is “Honor your feelings, be vulnerable, and willing to ask for help.”

    I want to be such a fierce, independent woman without showing fear, weakness, etc. I reality it shows strength to show emotions, be open and ask for guidance. Thanks for this post Elayna.

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  39. I definitely need to work with the ‘AFFIRM and Kick The Stress Out With Words’. The mind game is always the most difficult one for me and working from home leads to a lot of time to think about everything. Thank you for the useful tips!

  40. As you say, all of these are practical strategies, doable and worthy, yet not effortless. I already practice three of your techniques: avoid, accept and affirm. And I can tell it takes away lots of stress because even when you plan for something you may let the door open to accept it may be different than you thought and you´ll be ready in advance when it happens.

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