Staying Happy and Positive Through a Difficult Pregnancy

There’s a difference between being positive and being uh… how can I say in English? In denial. And while I love being pregnant because it is a miracle, the truth needs to be told: there is nothing glamorous about it and, pregnancy bliss, it is a blatant lie.

5 ways to stay happy and positive through a difficult pregnancy.

With Elisha, I spent all 10 months sick and swollen (they tell us it’s 9 months… but math was one of my subjects in school and I’m not buying it). It was gross: I threw up every day, -which led to being admitted due to dehydration- I had nose bleeds, headaches, back pain, toothache, you name it.  With Elyssa, I was sick for “only” about 6 months, but Elisha was an infant and I was on my own til I was about ready to pop, so I was tired all the time.

This time around, it’s been crazy! The first two months seemed like decades. I only got out of bed to be sick. Ginger, crackers, wrist bands, peppermint, medication, and IV due to dehydration… they work for others, but they didn’t work for me.

People will tell you to go for a walk, workout, take a hot bath, get a healing massage, take deep breaths, relax by the pool, do yoga, listen to inspirational music… Well, for some of us those activities are just not a possibility when being sick caused us anemia and your blood pressure is low all the time.

I started showing before I even knew I was expecting and my silky Caribbean skin is nowhere to be found. And even though my husband says I’m sexy, and people tell say “you’re glowing”, I haven’t felt like any urges to be in the cover of a magazine or a red carpet, if you know what I mean.

I have gained more than a third of my regular weight – they weren’t kidding when they came up with the phrase “heavy with child.” I have to put more effort into everything, and it is hard to drive with a big belly and short legs (with no high heels on … yikes!). I am blessed to have the flexibility to work from home and to homeschool, as well.

What about those raging hormones? Crying after laughing, hot and cold sweats… all considered “normal” during pregnancy. And don’t get me started on bladder issues! LOL

But the nauseous days and crazy hormonal temperatures and feelings are nothing compared to the questions and the fears. Staying happy and positive through a difficult pregnancy is solely a mental deal. The intense emotions of an expectant mother are consuming, to say the least, but positivity can be a matter of perspective, really.  Having a healthy baby is all that counts, right?

Well…what if they tell you your baby is NOT healthy? That’s the tricky part. Positive has become a way of life so I found the bright side on everything. Except for that.  There was nothing I could do to help the situation, yet I couldn’t just relax. I felt worse by stressing, then felt stressed about stressing.

I found great relief in seeing her in the womb… so divine, so perfect. It helped that during those troubling times, we got to see her a lot more often and got many pictures than we would have otherwise. There were those appointments in which I left in tears and disheartened, and there were those in which I felt hope and reassurance.

Staying happy and positive through a difficult pregnancy

These are 5 ways that have helped me be a positive pregnant mom so far:

PRAYER –  My first passion is to “connect to God, inner self, and others” and  prayer has proven to be the most effective way to get there.  I believe that “every perfect gift comes from above” and that our prayers are answered. My family and I have been praying so much for our little miracle baby and it has given me profound peace and joy.

INTERACTION – Even though my family lives in the Dominican Republic, we are very close, and technology allows us to talk quite often. Because I have been through really tough times and realized I went it alone when I didn’t have to, so I now know that sometimes half the battle is expressing how you feel.  Receiving sound advice is a bonus, but just sharing your emotions with someone or a group you trust, will make you feel better.

TIME ALONE – I am a social butterfly and I love people… and I love my husband and my daughters. I am not talking about isolation, which could lead to depression, but to additional time to connect with yourself, or nature. Sleep is a great tool, even though napping has been tough for me. Reading scripture and positive literature (especially self-development for me) is also something I highly recommend to disconnect from the outer and reconnect with the inner.

AFFIRMATIONS – If talking to yourself in the mirror has worked for you in the past, by all means, please do it again. However, what I am referring to is mainly a shift of attitude.  It is what Elyssa referred to as “talking to your brain” when she was about 3 and a half years old: whenever you hear your inner bully talking, tell her to stop, and ignore her.  When I learned of the threats we were under, I went online to do research, only to feel more disempowered, scared, and just plain sad… and I had to have a serious conversation with my brain, stop reading, and just trust.

ACTIVITY – I have found that this third time around I have had very little to no energy, but keeping active and engaged has nothing to do with being out and about. If you have energy, nesting in preparation for the arrival of the baby is going to help you enjoy this time, but if you’re weak, you can engage virtually to keep your mind occupied.

That’s all folks!  I take each day as it comes… one day at a time.  I don’t want to leave you hanging! Baby girl is fine and healthy now. We had our scares but kept the faith and are still praying for the best.  We have 45 days to go and I’ll sure do my best to be positive during pregnancy, knowing that being positive after she’s in our home is where I’ll really make an impact on her.  Thank God for this miracle!

Elayna Fernandez - Author - 
Speaker - Success Guide to Moms and Mompreneurs
© Elayna Fernández ~ The Positive MOM

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28 thoughts on “Staying Happy and Positive Through a Difficult Pregnancy

  1. Thank you so much for writing this. It feels good to know that im not alone. So far im only 10 weeks into my second pregnancy and its so hard on me right now between morning sickness, no appetite, and extreme fatigue. With my son who is now 3 I had a wonderful pregnancy. I was active, had energy, and felt great! Now that im pregnant again I find myself not being able to be as excited about this baby because of how bad I feel. I think im comparing this horrible pregnancy feeling to how im going to feel once the baby is here.

  2. Great post! I’m 34 weeks preggers right now with my second and am feeling more like a water buffalo than a woman. Pregnancy is so NOT glamorous! I was so happy to read what you wrote. I’m so tired of receiving well meaning pregnant woman advice. Your tips are so applicable 🙂 Congrats on your beautiful little girl!

  3. Just excited to get pregnant again of course that’s more than likely another year or so. But so true! I can relate to all those feelings!

  4. I have never been pregnant so I can’t even begin to know what you go through. I am glad that you can stay positive and that you have a loving family who are there for you.

  5. I suffered only my second term with horrendous gas pains with my son! I ate well and stayed hydrated, but they were bad! All worth it in the end, though!

  6. Prayer and time alone are powerful tools during and after pregnancy-I too was admitted for dehydration with my children and it’s scary.
    I agree with Momoftwo as well–Surround yourself with positive people and you can get through =)

  7. I had awful postpartum depression after my first when he was life flighted and in the NICU for a month after surgery it was hard to stay positive when your going through hormonal and body changes! But when luckily I have such a positive and supportive husband he helped me through it!

  8. Thank you. Just thank you for this. My mind has been my enemy and I wish you knew the God sent that this post is. I will read it over and over again. May God bless you and your family richly and please keep me in prayer. I refuse to worry anymore! (19 weeks pregnant and waiting for a kick).

  9. Great post! I’m pregnant now and this lack of energy stinks! I definitely agree, pregnancy is not all it’s cracked up to be. So glad that everything turned out fine and that you have your beautiful daughter healthy and whole.

  10. Amazing post! You also definitely want to buy yourself a little gift: you have to get The Daily Soul Sessions for the Pregnant Mama book! It’s on Amazon, it’s amazing! It literally saved me during my pregnancy. There’s 280 short soul sessions. It’s not religious, just heart warming and spiritual to help you connect with yourself and your creativity and your baby each day. You will love it!!

  11. Thanks for the read. I’m in my fourth pregnancy and this is the worst yet. My raging attitude and always upset for what I don’t know. I’m annoyed by everything and there’s never enough mommy to share they all want my attention and I try to give each one their time. Nothing seems good enough. Work, laundry, paying bills, feeding dogs, fish, birds and cleaning, food times, nap times, no me time except sleep thankfully there’s daycare and I’m now way to tired to do any of it. Staying positive is a hard thing read my bible calms me, uhhhhhhh I felt like deleting this cause it’s “complaining” but I’m exhausted and just want to stay in bed and not do anything. Please any suggestions to stay calm, not be sooooooooo moody and keep my head sain would be helpful Christmas day is too far away

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  16. Thank you for this. Positivity is one of my strengths accdg to the Gallup Strengthsfinder test but this pregnancy has been a challenge. I am at week 8 and I don’t feel much except for being sleepy all the time. However, ultrasound had a finding recently, my OB needs to rule out something. When I googled it, whatever I read made me petrified and anxious. I’ve been crying and my mind keeps on switching to the negative. I’ve been taking deep breaths to slow my thoughts down. It’s such a struggle. My OB only advises prayer at this point which makes me feel somewhat worse because NOTHING is under my or my doctor’s control.

  17. Thank you so much for writing this because it is so helpful to me right now. This is my second pregnancy and has been the hardest thing to deal with so far from the moment I found out I was pregnant. The physical symptoms are so super intense and then to now have the emotional ups and downs is more than I feel like I can take. I have felt so guilty in telling folks how I really feel because I think about all those mamas trying to get pregnant or who have lossed a baby. I know I am in a privileged position and I am so thankful but it scares me how hard this all is and in the end all I really want is for our baby girl to be healthy and happy more than anything. In any case, thank you again for keeping it real and congratulations to you and your growing fam!

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  19. We all have our comfort zones. We do things in a certain way and rarely think of trying something new.

    Doing something you’ve never done before is bound to make you nervous.

    But once you’re through, you feel more confident. And confidence is a sign of increasing positivity.

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