I recently read in Proverbs 26:27: “Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.” This verse made me reflect on just how many times I have dug and dug and have gotten stuck in my own deep hole of darkness.
I’ve been blessed to mentor many brave, beautiful moms who truly inspire me beyond measure. Unfortunately, many of their perceived failures, flaws, fears, and frustrations were of their own making. Much of their suffering was created by not seeming to measure up to idealized expectations of what a wife or a mom should be, as defined by other people —sometimes, people they didn’t even know!
Have you ever felt Weak, Wounded, Weary?
I’ll admit that I am eerily familiar with feelings of worry, hopelessness, loneliness, inadequacy, loss, failure, sadness, anger, and anxiety. If you are in a similar season of life, I would like for you to consider the following story:
“A mom is walking down the street when she falls in a hole. [Let’s call her Dawn] The walls are so steep she can’t get out.
A doctor passes by and the mom shouts up, ‘Hiiiiii…Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.
Then a priest comes along and the mom once again shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole, can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on.
Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Jess, it’s me, can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Dawn says, ‘Are you crazy? Now we’re both trapped down here.’ To with Jess replied: ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.‘”
What can you learn from “Dawn” and “Jess”?
If you’re stuck in a pit, feeling weak, wounded, weary, and sick and tired of being sick and tired, there really is a way out. I have felt alone in my struggles and like no one could possibly understand what I was going through, but that is a lie. There is always someone who has been in that hole and can help you come out of it.
There is always a way to overcome, regain our strength, find hope, and reclaim our joy. That’s why I love what I do. I’ve been through so much and I have learned how to get out of some deep pits and how to stay out of them, that I want to extend my arms and reach out to moms and say: “I’ve walked in your shoes before and I can guide you because I know the path!”
Let’s stereotype for a second: do you think women are as hesitant to ask for help as men are to ask for directions? Asking for help does not come natural to me; it’s a learned skill. One that I have not yet mastered
not even a little bit.
Sometimes I wonder: why doesn’t EVERYONE have a coach, a mentor, a success guide, so they can ask for the wisdom, guidance, and encouragement they need to follow their dream? Why aren’t we moms more open to asking for help? I’ll tell you why:
Being willing to be vulnerable is a hard choice to make.
It seems easier to hide our failures—because God forbid someone may find out we aren’t perfect—and it seems a better idea to “fake it till we make it.”
You know what? I’ve fallen hard…so many times, and that’s just fine. Sometimes I did the pit digging, some others someone dug it for me and threw dirt and rocks on top of that, just to spite me, some other times I don’t know how I got in there.
The beautiful reality is that, whatever your pit may be, and no matter how you got in there, you can get out, as I have. And there is someone who has been there and can help you find your way.
The first step to getting out of your pit is to be TIRED (easy for a mom). Allow me to me illustrate:
- I grew tired of justifying myself to be accepted, pretending to be the Perfect Woman, Wonder MOM, and Ms. Independent.
- I grew tired of grieving alone and learning things the hard [and the loooooooong] way… when I know that the Lord’s will for me is to have JOY.
- I grew tired of feeling weak, wounded, and weary, and I decided to Discover, Live, Balance, Monetize, and Radiate my PASSIONS so that I can fulfill my purpose.
The second step is to remember you are a daughter of God and precious in His sight. When you’re at a low, feeling down, disappointed, and discouraged, perhaps because you can’t live up to your absolute highest ideals, remember you are enough, you are remarkable, and you are destined for greatness.
The third step is to ask for help! Asking the right people is the key to getting the results you want. Surround yourself with positive people that could be a light amidst the darkness: a mentor, a coach, a supportive friend or significant other, can provide answers, solutions, and direction that can help accelerate your journey.
To sum it all up: if you ever find yourself Weak, Weary, Wounded, and In A Deep Pit, don’t stay there!