Weak, Weary, Wounded, and In A Deep Pit

I recently read in Proverbs 26:27: Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.” This verse made me reflect on just how many times I have dug and dug and have gotten stuck in my own deep hole of darkness.

I’ve been blessed to mentor many brave, beautiful moms who truly inspire me beyond measure. Unfortunately, many of their perceived failures, flaws, fears, and frustrations were of their own making. Much of their suffering was created by not seeming to measure up to idealized expectations of what a wife or a mom should be, as defined by other people —sometimes, people they didn’t even know!

Have you ever felt Weak, Wounded, Weary?

I’ll admit that I am eerily familiar with feelings of worry, hopelessness, loneliness, inadequacy, loss, failure, sadness, anger, and anxiety. If you are in a similar season of life, I would like for you to consider the following story:

“A mom is walking down the street when she falls in a hole. The walls are so steep she can’t get out.

A doctor passes by and the mom shouts up, ‘Hiiiiii…Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

Then a priest comes along and the mom once again shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole, can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Jess, it’s me, can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Dawn says, ‘Are you crazy? Now we’re both trapped down here.’ To with Jess replied: ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.‘”

What can you learn from “Dawn” and “Jess”?

If you’re stuck in a pit, feeling weak, wounded, weary, and sick and tired of being sick and tired, there really is a way out. I have felt alone in my struggles and like no one could possibly understand what I was going through, but that is a lie. There is always someone who has been in that hole and can help you come out of it.

There is always a way to overcome, regain our strength, find hope, and reclaim our joy. That’s why I love what I do. I’ve been through so much and I have learned how to get out of some deep pits and how to stay out of them, that I want to extend my arms and reach out to moms and say: “I’ve walked in your shoes before and I can guide you because I know the path!”

Let’s stereotype for a second: do you think women are as hesitant to ask for help as men are to ask for directions? Asking for help does not come natural to me; it’s a learned skill. One that I have not yet mastered not even a little bit.

Sometimes I wonder: why doesn’t EVERYONE have a coach, a mentor, a success guide, so they can ask for the wisdom, guidance, and encouragement they need to follow their dream? Why aren’t we moms more open to asking for help?  I’ll tell you why:

Being willing to be vulnerable is a hard choice to make.

It seems easier to hide our failures—because God forbid someone may find out we aren’t perfect—and it seems a better idea to “fake it till we make it.”

You know what? I’ve fallen hard…so many times, and that’s just fine. Sometimes I did the pit digging, some others someone dug it for me and threw dirt and rocks on top of that, just to spite me, some other times I don’t know how I got in there.

The beautiful reality is that, whatever your pit may be, and no matter how you got in there, you can get out, as I have. And there is someone who has been there and can help you find your way.

weak wounded weary and stuck in a pit

The first step to getting out of your pit is to be TIRED (easy for a mom). Allow me to me illustrate:

  • I grew tired of justifying myself to be accepted, pretending to be the Perfect Woman, Wonder MOM, and Ms. Independent.
  • I grew tired of grieving alone and learning things the hard way… when I know that the Lord’s will for me is to have JOY.
  • I grew tired of feeling weak, wounded, and weary, and I decided to Discover, Live, Balance, Monetize, and Radiate my PASSIONS so that I can fulfill my purpose.

The second step is to remember you are a daughter of God and precious in His sight.  When you’re at a low, feeling down, disappointed, and discouraged, perhaps because you can’t live up to your absolute highest ideals, remember you are enough, you are remarkable, and you are destined for greatness.

The third step is to ask for help! Asking the right people is the key to getting the results you want. Surround yourself with positive people that could be a light amidst the darkness: a mentor, a coach, a supportive friend or significant other, can provide answers, solutions, and direction that can help accelerate your journey.

To sum it all up: if you ever find yourself Weak, Weary, Wounded, and In A Deep Pit, don’t stay there!

Elayna Fernandez - Author - 
Speaker - Success Guide to Moms and Mompreneurs
© Elayna Fernández ~ The Positive MOM

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52 thoughts on “Weak, Weary, Wounded, and In A Deep Pit

  1. Asking for help is possibly the hardest thing in this world. You just have to remember that there is nothing that hasn’t happened before and there there is always someone you know who can help you–you just have to ask.

  2. When I first read Beth Moore’s book Get out of that Pit (I think that was the title) I saw the truth in it. We do dig our pits and jump right in! It’s wonderful to have friends who help us out and a God who will lift us out and still love us even when we do it again and again. Thanks for your positive posts!

  3. Asking for help is probably the hardest thing to do. Women are taught from a young age that they should be able to take care of our houses, husbands and kids when we find we can’t do it all that ‘s when the problems start. Great post Elayna!

  4. “whatever your pit may be, and no matter how you got in there, you can get out” -such a beautiful line. Mean while, selecting the right person gives a positive result. When positive peoples surround you, you can always come out from any sort of trouble you are in. For me, My husband has always been a positive motivator, helping me come out of sorrow.

  5. I love this post and your story. It is so inspirational indeed. I have a new friend I met on line at the beginning of this year . She helped me get out of my pit and her name is Laura. She is so positive and made me realize there is good in everything including the pit in our life. I believe there is a purpose for everyone you come in contact with good or bad. Life is all about lessons. Thanks for sharing

  6. I always love what you write! “I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.” This explains exactly why other special needs parents have been the best resource for me as a parent of a child with special needs. Thank you!

  7. I wasn’t always good with selecting friends who would offer me good, helpful advice. A lot of them didn’t always have my back. I’ve gotten a lot smarter with choosing friends now and have a few people in my life that I know I can always count on to help me through those difficult moments. I am so grateful to them.

  8. Allowing people to help you, and advocating for your emotional health by asking people to help you is so very important. I have a terrible time asking for help-but I always realize, in the end, sometimes I just need the help and I need to ask for it.

  9. I feel those things more often than I care to admit, but something always pulls me through…..BLESSINGS. I have learned to count them daily and that seems to get me back on track

  10. Thanks for sharing so inspirational post. Love the story. Sometimes it’s really hard to ask help, but in the end it’s the only way to get out of that hole.

  11. Here you are again, right when I need you. This post was RIGHT.ON.TIME. God is good like that isn’t he? Keep on being positive and lifting up the weak, weary, and wounded like me. Thank you for giving my thoughts words and for helping me realize that it’s okay to not be the perfect wife, mom, human. We’re not perfect and that’s perfectly okay.

  12. Very inspirational post! I can totally relate to this and I know a lot of other moms can too. I wish we weren’t so afraid to ask for help when we need it. Even I feel like I have to be this perfect mom.

  13. At this point in my life, I am fully grounded in the message that I am a child of God and beautifully made. Sadly, it takes some of us a life time to get there. We must never give up. I’m with you sister! 🙂

  14. I love the 3 steps for getting out of the pit. Step # 2 resonates with me so much.

    I had to realize who I was and whose I was when I was going through my deepest depression due to a dysfunctional, abusive relationship.

    My self-worth was shot and my self-talk was negative majority of the time. I had to look myself in the mirror eye to eye and recite everything that God’s world said I was! (i.e. fearfully and wonderfully made, beautiful in God’s eyes)

    I had a breakthrough and it changed me… it gave me strength and courage that I could leave and be okay. Thanks for this great post : )

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  16. Two things have had a lot of impact in my life and have made me aware of the changes I need to make to thrive in my life: one is to read and learn about vulnerability because that’s a hard one for me and the second is getting tired, like you mentioned. Being tired of just being tired and not seeing positive changes. Those two things made me realized that I needed to make a change and improve my life and my family’s life. Thank you for writing this!

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