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You Get In Life What You Believe You Deserve

Best Buy Blogger Network disclosure

So, I have a fancy watch. Yes, it’s my first one and I’m in love. Well, you know, I always say “don’t love things, love people,” but let’s just say I have very strong emotions about my new Fossil Smartwatch– and did I mention it’s Rose Gold? 

I’m grateful to Best Buy for sending this beauty my way, but I must confess, at first I was having doubts. You may be familiar with this question:

Is it too much?

Our limiting beliefs sometimes take the form of “false humility,” but what really is going a lack of sense of deserving. Let me illustrate this with an ancient Hindu story I really love.

Once a tired traveler came upon a single tree growing in the center of a small valley. He took shelter under its boughs and, suddenly, he thought “It would be wonderful if I had a place to rest, a beautiful place to call my own.”

Suddenly, he found himself in a gorgeous palace with the finest furnishings.

He was delighted! So he made another wish. Now that he had such lavish dwellings, he thought: “I could definitely use a delicious meal.”

In no time, a team of servants came bearing a feast on golden platters.

He wished for everything he had ever wanted and then he thought “my life would be complete if I had a special someone to share this rich life with.” Out of nowhere, the woman of his dreams was at his side and she loved him as much as he loved her.

He thought: “isn’t this incredible? But how is this happening to me? Maybe I’ll lose it all”

And it all he had wished for disappeared before his eyes.

Good news and bad news: you get what you believe you deserve. And even better news: you don’t have to believe everything you think – and you can upgrade your sense of deserving. 

Earl Nightingale once said: “We are all self-made, but only the successful will admit it.” Your results often reflect the thoughts you believe and your sense of deserving and worthiness.

I say “often” because I don’t believe that the poverty, abuse, and tragedy I experienced in my youth were something I deserved or believed I deserved. Let’s be clear!

There are conditions we are born to and many events that test us that we didn’t create, so deciding that I get in life what I deserve is more of a mantra to create my results by default, rather than by design.

Deciding to upgrade my sense of deserving is my call to action to dig deep inside myself seeking to increase my self-awareness, be more intentional, and release unconscious beliefs that are holding me back from having, doing, and being what I desire in all areas of my life.

Carl Jung once stated that “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” So, I decided that even though the voice of the inner bully shows up to tell me otherwise, I deserve a gorgeous smartwatch… and a lot more. I deserve all the good things that happen to me and you deserve everything you desire.

So I followed my own advice and said YES to my Fossil watch with Wear OS by Google. I am worthy, it’s my birthday, and I deserve it.

Learning how to use my new Fossil smart watch and it’s been such a fun experience, especially since it is compatible with both iPhone and Android – and I have them both!

I feel so blessed to be able to make every minute matter with smart help and health coaching, from the convenience of my wrist with Google Fit, which motivates you towards a healthier life with coaching and activity tracking based on guidelines from the American Heart Association & World Health Organization. It’s perfect for a NEW START!

This Fossil smart watch keeps you ahead of your day with proactive, personalized help from Google Assistant, even before you ask, plus you can get more done and maximize your time with more glanceable, easy to manage notifications, with smart replies to respond quickly on the go. It’s insane how awesome this feature is!

Another feature is the quick access to Google Pay—so you can pay with a wave at almost anyplace that accepts credit cards. I really don’t like carrying those things around.

It feels good to be open to receive and be free to enjoy the good that happens to me. You know how much pain, struggle, and chaos we already have in our lives, so it is necessary to savor any joys we can as long as we are able.

Believing we deserve something is the foundation to receive it. ASK+BELIEVE+RECEIVE is a formula that has been given to us by every world philosophy and religion and the key is in the middle.

We ask (persistently, sometimes) and we want to receive, but unless we believe it can happen for us because we are deserving of it, it just cannot happen. The impostor syndrome kicks in and sabotages the flow:

  • Who am I to have that?
  • Who am I to do that?
  • Who am I to BE that?

When you upgrade your sense of deserving, you will start not only manifesting what you want, but to keep it, too.

A good example about how your sense of deserving can affect you is when someone wins the lottery. According to multiple studies, about 70% of all lottery winners become broke and file for bankruptcy. In fact, 44% of lottery winners had spent all of their winnings within 5 years of winning the lottery!

I always say “You cannot outperform your self-image.” Or as Iyanla Vanzant put it:

Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.

Have you ever heard about The Golden Rule? You know, “treat others as you want to be treated”? There’s also The Platinum rule: “treat others the way they want to be treated“, which aligns with what we read in The 5 Love Languages.

Well here’s my rule, which I’ll call The Titanium Rule: “treat yourself the way you want to be treated.

There was a particular mom that attempted to have an argument with me about this rule because she believed it invites pride and entitlement (what I call self-importance). Ironically, arguing to change another’s mind comes from ego, but loving yourself is commandment – treating everyone with love is a commandment.

As a Certified Success Principles Trainer, one of the principles I cover in my workshops and seminars is called “Act As IF,” which teaches us that we don’t have to believe we deserve it the first time we do it. We do it enough until it sinks in and the belief and sense of deserving solidifies itself. Believing you deserve what you desire is a practice.

I know I will always hear from my pesky inner bully and I don’t really know that I can keep her from coming around, but I do know that I don’t have to believe those voices and that I can choose to act in defiance, in resistance, against that thought.

You’re probably familiar with the name Napoleon Hill, the author of Think and Grow Rich. He was assigned by Andrew Carnegie to spend 20 years writing this book and, in order to succeed, he was to carry out an assignment that Carnegie assured was the formula that would enable him to achieve that goal.

Napoleon Hill was to look at himself in front of the mirror, at least twice a day – once just before going to bed at night and once just after getting up – for 30 days, repeating this equestrian analogy:

Andrew Carnegie, I’m not only going to equal your achievements in life, but I’m going to challenge you at the post and pass you at the grandstand.

Napoleon Hill could not imagine being more successful than Andrew Carnegie, so he protested, in an effort to be “realistic.” Fortunately, he went through with this practice and eventually started to believe it, and did indeed become more successful than Andrew Carnegie in more than one way.

Believe you deserve to create a joyful life story. Believe you deserve all the blessings you’ve been praying for. Believe you are worthy of love, admiration, and service.

We are conditioned to believe that there is a list of requirements and tasks we need to check off before we are worthy (you know how I feel about lists – ugh!), but the truth is that we are born worthy.

We have a divine nature and the mere fact that you are breathing right now gives you permission to prosper – that is God’s plan for you, but your beliefs may be getting in the way.

You may wondering how you could embark on a journey of increased worthiness and it’s really simple: start focusing on it. What you focus on you feel, what you focus on comes to life, and what you focus on expands.

It doesn’t take a life-altering event, reading a transformational book, or being blinded by Jesus on the road to Damascus for you to start shedding your false beliefs. It just takes humility.

Interestingly enough, the more you understand how worthy you are, the more you understand why and what for, so you become more grateful, loving, and willing to serve others without an agenda.

When you upgrade your sense of deserving, you attract the things and, most importantly, the people and the freedom you desire in your life. 

How are you upgrading your sense of deserving and worthiness? Share in the comments below!

Elayna is a single mom of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 4x TEDx speaker. Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results, so you can have the wealth, opportunities, and freedom you deserve. Connect with Elayna Fernández at thepositivemom.com/keynote-speaker and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

Be Positive and You Will Be Powerful ~ Elayna FernandBe Positive and You Will Be Powerful ~ Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOMez ~ The Positive MOM
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Rebecca Bryant

Thursday 12th of September 2019

You truly deserve this watch and so much more for your kindness and generosity of heart. You have changed my life so much.

Patty Moliterno

Wednesday 11th of September 2019

Elayna: The watch is beautiful; you deserve it; and this is a great post.

I have not read Napoleon Hill's book, but I intend to.

I am going to begin the mirror exercise.

Christine G

Wednesday 11th of September 2019

I plan on practicing the "Mirror Exercise" every morning to get my day started on a positive note!

Fibi Tong

Wednesday 19th of December 2018

This watch is so lovely! I love this colour


Tuesday 18th of December 2018

THis watch looks absolutely amazing! I would love to try one of these beauties out.