As I start writing this post, I don’t know where I am really going. I may surprise you…and myself.
I have recently been attracting a lot of information about marriages that last over 50 years. It seems like a formula and not a matter of being “soul-mates.”
I saw a cute picture in which the man asked the woman how they managed to stay together all these years and she replies:
“We were just born at a time where when things were broken, we didn’t toss them, we fixed them.”
Perhaps “meant to be together” is a crazy myth.
And soul mates, mmm, here’s Elizabeth Gilbert’s definition on Eat, Pray, Love:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…”
Being with a soul mate sound like pain-inflicting experience.
I have been in a painful relationship with a fault-finding, unappreciative, controlling, excessively demanding, extremely selfish man.
Yes, I learned a ton from it…but that didn’t make it fun and that won’t get my years back. I love who I am for where I’ve been yet I recognize there is indeed a better way.
Finding a soulmate must be a conscious decision based on shared core values and a joyful experience together.
Yes, we could experience and accelerate learning in an unhealthy relationship, but isn’t it better to do it at our pace while being happy with someone who simply wants to make us happy?
Elayna is a single mom of 4, award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 4x TEDx speaker. Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results, so you can have the wealth, opportunities, and freedom you deserve. Connect with Elayna Fernández at thepositivemom.com/keynote-speaker and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.
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Zaria
Friday 7th of April 2017
Hello Elayna,
Thank you for this great post and for presenting Elizabeth's opinion considering the soulmate connection. From my experience as a past life therapist, soulmates are romantic partners with karmic connection. They have met in previous lifetimes and this is why their connection is so intense in this life. It also explains why they recognize each other and they feel that they have met before. Such an intense connection on a physical, emotional and spiritual level that words are not enough to describe it. There is no way you can miss such a connection or even wonder "Have I met my soulmate?" because the moment you see them, you will have that inner knowing. Soulmates are not supposed to be the perfect match for us but more that someone who challenges us of who we are. In that way, our soulmates teach us to see life on a different way and also, different aspects of a relationship.
It was a pleasure connecting with you today! Wishing you all the best!
Zaria