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Get Out Of That Hole And Reclaim Your Power

As moms – and as humans – we inevitably ask ourselves a question from time to time: how did I dig myself into this hole? And most importantly, how do I get out?

Whether your wish is to dig yourself out of a financial hole, an unhealthy relationship, an endless list of to-do’s you don’t know how to tackle, or a self-destructive habit that is keeping you captive, I assure you it can be done, and it starts with realizing and unlocking your true inner power.

Did You Dig Yourself A Hole You Don't Know How To Get Out Of?

Why do we keep making the same mistake over and over, keep stuck in the same unpleasant situation, or settle for less when we desire more?

In her book,  “There Is A Hole In My Sidewalk: The Romance Of Self-Discovery,” the late Portia Nelson (1920 – 2001) wrote a poem called “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters“(aff) that illustrates how life works for most of us:

    Chapter One

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

    Chapter Two

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

    Chapter Three

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault… I get out immediately.

    Chapter Four

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

    Chapter Five

I walk down another street.

Copyright (c) Portia Nelson, 1993

There are many holes on the sidewalks that lead to our dream destination. However easy the journey may look to someone else, it is often a brand new path for us, and it takes getting used to before we are really aware of the hazards, the dangers, the threats, and the pitfalls along the way.

Countless times, I’ve driven down the same road and missed the same exit, only to get lost and lose 20 minutes to go down the same path again, in an effort to get to the same destination.

Einstein said: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. [ouch!]

At first, it takes forever to get it right, to find the way out… but then, almost magically, when we forsake blaming and complaining and start paying attention to the patterns that contribute to our falling in the hole or getting lost, we are finally empowered to break the cycle. This is what I call “reclaiming your power.”

Will Rogers once said “When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.” That sounds simple, but, when we’re overwhelmed with the anger, resentment, fear, and feelings of helplessness, we tend to dig a deeper hole for ourselves.

Someone I deeply love was recently close to drowning because instead of swimming or floating, he exhausted his energy panicking.

If all of these stories sound like you, then you are functioning as a human being, because we’ve all been there. Don’t beat yourself up!

Instead of dwelling in the “why” or the “how” of the equation, become an observer. It may be obvious that if your particular hole is excess weight that the “why” may be lack of exercise or movement, and the “how” may be eating unhealthy foods.  Observing is going deep into the root of what triggers the behavior, not the behavior itself. Does that make sense?

[Tweet “Don’t dwell in the why or the how, and become an observer of your patterns. #motivationformoms”]

Reclaiming your power means understanding that while you forgive yourself for doing the human thing, you must also access the divine power that is in you as the goddess in training that you are.

Harnessing your inner power is understanding that at some point, you get to choose to be your own agent and get yourself out of any hole, and in a quicker manner than ever before.

Exercising your personal power means you will think ahead and avoid falling into holes as long as you can help it, so you can advance in your path to success.

When you rewrite your story, rewire your mind, and reclaim your power, you empower your kids (and many moms around you) to follow in your footprints.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is easy. It does take time. It does take effort. It does take strength. What I am saying is that, as you decipher just how powerful you are, and focus on seeking for a solution, your sense of self-responsibility will grant you access to the light you need to overcome whatever hole you’ve fallen into.

There are holes in your sidewalk… There will always be holes in your sidewalk. And when you decide to live life as a conscious creator, you will spot them more quickly, you will get out a lot faster, and you will choose to shake off the disempowering self-pity, blame, shame, avoidance, guilt, toxicity, and fear that keep you there.

And when you feel like you’re sinking into quicksand and the hole is getting deeper, it’s okay to ask for help. Being powerful doesn’t mean being imprisoned by stubbornness and pride, it means collaborating with everything and everyone at your disposal to rewrite your story, and choose an empowering meaning.

Have you ever been in a hole? How did you get out of it and reclaim your power? I am eager to hear your story of hope!


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Is Your Brand Name Sending Out The Right Message? ★ Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM ♥

Tuesday 8th of August 2017

[…] my kids. That’s why I’m passionate to help moms who want to do the same, and now that I’ve been there, I can hopefully help them avoid some of the mistakes I made, as well as teaching them in the […]

Dania Santana

Tuesday 9th of May 2017

I've been there several times and it has been a long learning curve to understand that I needed to change the behavior and not only solve the situation of the moment, but, like you said, to "think ahead and avoid falling into holes as long as you can help it". Still a work in progress, but I know I'm getting there.

13 Powerful Rumi Quotes To Live An Enlightened Life ★ Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM ♥

Wednesday 1st of March 2017

[…] There is a time for everything under the sun, and grieving is on the list; but take a moment to replace your lack, fear, and suffering with the curiosity of “how is this coming back to me?” This simple question can fill you with wonder and hope for what is next, rather than feeling like you are falling into a deeper hole of despair. […]

Neyssa Jump

Monday 27th of February 2017

A few days ago I found myself in a literal hole at Skyzone. Wow. That was taking the figurative and making it literal. I felt so much panic. I had to ask for help to get out.

This was a great post, and the poem was amazing.


Sunday 25th of October 2015

The poem although simple has such a deep meaning to it. Asking for help is my biggest problem. I don't think I will ever get used to it.