Being Happy Enough Is Just Not Enough

You know it’s a good date night when you’re both crying – in a good way! I had a good idea that waitress the musical was going to be good, but it was absolutely amazing.

Dallas Summer Musicals, Inc. (DSM) and Broadway Across America (BAA) partnered up to play Waitress at the Music Hall at Fair Park for a limited two-week engagement March 28 – April 8, 2018. I am so grateful we experienced it in all its glory on opening night, enjoyed pies in a jar, a pie recipe book, and a cast after-party!

I love that Waitress was brought to life by a groundbreaking all-female creative team. This irresistible new hit features original music and lyrics by 6-time Grammy® nominee Sara Bareilles (“Brave,” “Love Song”), a book by acclaimed screenwriter Jessie Nelson (I Am Sam), choreography by Lorin Latarro (Les Dangereuse Liasons, Waiting For Godot) and direction by Tony Award® winner Diane Paulus (Hair, Pippin, Finding Neverland).

Waitress is inspired by Adrienne Shelly’s beloved film, but I enjoyed the musical so much more! The musical is dedicated to her memory since the actress-writer-director was sadly murdered three months before her film debuted at the Sundance Film Festival.

Waitress tells the story of Jenna Hunterson– a waitress and expert pie maker (and imaginative pie “namer”), Jenna dreams of a way out of her small town and loveless marriage. A baking contest in a nearby county and the town’s new (and very charming) doctor, Dr. Pomatter, may offer her a chance at a fresh start, while her fellow waitresses offer their own honest recipes for happiness. But Jenna must summon the strength and courage to rebuild her own life now that she has “peed on a stick” and a baby is “baking in the oven.”

I am no stranger to domestic violence and rebuilding my life with small children, so I was trying hard not to sob too loud during some of the most triggering scenes, especially when she sings “What Baking Can Do.”

My husband was surprised how the show portrays serious topics like infidelity, illness, loneliness, violence, and trauma, and yet it is engaging, entertaining, and laugh-out-loud-and-snort funny.

I believe Waitress is inspiring, empowering, and uplifting. Waitress the musical celebrates friendship, motherhood, and the magic of a well-made pie.

Jenna’s pie-making creativity is transformed from a curse passed down by her mother to escape from the reality of having a brute and narcissistic husband, into the very tool she uses to break the cycle and reclaim her worth and freedom.

Earl’s character was so believably insensitive (and painfully familiar) that it was awkward to clap for him even though his performance was stellar – you wanted to despise him, really.

My favorite theme in Waitress is that even though Jenna is in less than ideal circumstances, she is seeking for authentic happiness, rather than settling for “happy enough.”

I’ve made the mistake of setting the goal to “learn to endure” and even “learn to like” disempowering and abusive relationships. Waitress gives women permission to not only “plan their escape” but to dream, to realize there is more, to pursue their own happiness while portraying just how hard that can be.

Every woman’s definition of happiness is unique and happiness is not the answer, because being happy enough is simply not enough.

In today’s context, “happy” is usually a temporary feeling and dependent on the circumstances, conditions, and constructions we can perceive with our five senses. In order to feel lasting joy, we must live a life of meaning!

In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, one of the 10 most influential books in the United States, Victor Frankl wrote:

A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any “how.”

Being a mom can give you strength, courage, and wisdom because it gives meaning to your life. The perspective that a baby can bring is limitless! I certainly have embarked on journeys I never thought I could or would because of my commitment to mother my children differently.

Some other things that can bring lasting happiness and meaning are having a spiritual practice, having a gratitude practice, being of service to others, doing work you love, and practicing self-care.

Tony Robbins says that “The meaning you attach to something produces the emotion of your life and your emotion is your life.”

In Waitress we see the contrast of how marriage can be a joyous event or a miserable sentence. How working in a small town diner can be something you want to leave behind or your dream come true… How you can lose yourself trying to find yourself…

And, ironically, when Jenna sings “She Used to Be Mine” on Act 2, you feel with all your being that losing yourself is how your find yourself.

I used to give my divorce a disempowering meaning, but being a single mom -stigma and all – was the most empowering event of my life. In Waitress, Jenna teaches us how we can give motherhood a different meaning than we’ve known, even with the negative emotions it can bring.

Happiness is not about feeling positive emotions all the time, but in finding meaning in the events in your life. In Waitress, we can see happiness as an awareness, a process that happens gradually, in the present time.

Waitress inspired me to more intentionally reexamine patterns of “Someday I’ll be happy,” disguised as “I’ll be happy when…,”  to be less self-conscious about being happy, and to take the steps I can take right now, with what I have, from where I am. Will you join me?

Single tickets for the Dallas engagement of Waitress are now on sale at DallasSummerMusicals.org or by phone at 1 (800) 745-3000. They can also be purchased in person at the Music Hall at Fair Park Box Office Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Following the Friday, April 6 performance at the Music Hall at Fair Park, audience members will be chosen at random for a chance to sing on a Broadway stage! WAITRESS’ Cast Album Karaoke” will be hosted by Ron Corning from WFAA Daybreak. What a dream!

Visit the Dallas Summer Musicals website or call 214-421-5678. Be sure to follow with the hashtag #WaitressDSM and @dsmusicals on Twitter or @DallasSummerMusicals on Instagram. If you’re not in the Dallas Fort Worth area, you can visit the Waitress The Musical website for tour information.

Some other productions I am looking forward to at Dallas Summer Musicals are Les Misérables, Disney’s The Lion King, Love Never Dies: The Phantom Returns, School of Rock, The Book of Mormon, Elf, and Hamilton!

Are you happy enough or are you really happy? Share with us what gives your life meaning! xoxo

Elayna is a single mom of 4, award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 4x TEDx speaker. Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results, so you can have the wealth, opportunities, and freedom you deserve. Connect with Elayna Fernández at thepositivemom.com/keynote-speaker and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

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Photos by Joan Marcus