Because I homeschool, Eliana has been reading since she was 3. In fact, she’s only 5 and reading at a third-grade level and she loves to read to me now and to the little one in my womb.

A few days ago, she read “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” and it got me thinking about how we get started so early to form in our mind what or who is “too this” or “too that” and what or who is “just right.”

I started reminiscing about last May, when I attended WeAllGrow Latina, a gathering of Latina Bloggers and Bosses from all over the U.S. and was invited to the #Cincuentañeros private dinner, the launch of a national movement to celebrate our stories, as Latinas – how we want to live and age.

#Cincuentañeros™ can be translated two ways into Spanish – the outdated one refers to being in your 50’s, and the one adopted by AARP’s Disrupt Aging initiative, which reflects a life “sin cuenta” – without counting, agelessly, timelessly, refusing to be defined (or held back) by age, and defying what it means to age.

I believe that the secret to living your best life at any age is to understand that your age is “just right.” You are not “too old” or “too young,” and no one should walk into your life uninvited to be the judge.

There were Latinas of all shapes, and shades in the room, all ages and stages represented. We started our journey aboard the Long Beach Trolley and were transported to an industrial condo suite with an enchanting ambiance, a delicious dinner with vegan options, and a frank conversation about aging that caused ALL THE FEELS: laughter, outrage, tears, but most importantly, joy, hope, and new-found confidence to live our best lives, in our way, at our age.

This was hands-down, the best influencer dinner I’ve attended in my 15-year blogging career – and it wasn’t the shiny rose-gold bag, the branded jewelry, or the vegan dessert talking, although I enjoyed all of that. It was really a spiritual experience in which each of us opened up about how ageism affects people of all ages and what that looks like in our Latina community. 

Gaby Natale, 3-time Daytime Emmy Award winner and a woman I deeply admire, hosted this honest bi-lingual conversation with Latina Entrepreneurs across the age spectrum in this inclusive, safe, and sacred space.

Pregnancy is hard because you are co-creating a life, not because of when your birth certificate was issued. In fact, I feel better this time around than I’ve felt with my last three pregnancies. Having decided to call my abusive marriage quits, I feel more empowered than ever, and I am enjoying great success in my business, writing a new book, and even going to college.

I am living my best life at 42 and you can live your best life now. Wherever you are in your journey, it is JUST RIGHT.

If ever hear someone say “she’s too young to lead that project,” or “he’s too old to run a marathon,” “she should be married and have a couple of kids by now,” or “she’s going to be 60 when her daughter turns 18” (Yep, that’s me!), then you’re staring at ageism right in the face. 

Ageism is so subtle that it is the most socially accepted type of stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination. We (yes, you and I included!) make harmful assumptions based solely on someone’s age all the time!

About a decade ago, I used to teach a 12-week website design class in Naples, FL, where I lived at the time. One vibrant 86-year-old woman walked into the class and, given that most “younger” students barely finished their website, I thought I’d have to spend some extra time with her so she could complete hers.

Guess what? She didn’t design one website – she designed three – and they were amazing! I’m really happy she taught me a lesson about ageism and proved me wrong.

We sometimes feel fear and shame because of the stigma of being “too old,” but those considered “too young” are affected, too, and this was very clear in our dinner conversation. “Too” really means “not enough.”

My daughters became best-selling published authors and international speakers at ages 9 and 10, and have been running their own businesses.

We have been given “the look” many times when we’ve shown up at conferences together and one woman even confessed to me that she judged me for “dragging them along when they were OBVIOUSLY too young to be in a conference setting.” I was pregnant with Eliana at the time and I actually came with them!

7 Ways To Live Your Best Life At Any Age And Defy Aging

I have never used anti-wrinkle cream, dyed my hair, and I rarely wear makeup. Even though I was taught to do the opposite: I don’t hide my age, don’t lie about my age, and don’t mind it when people ask my age, because I decide how I live and age. And so do you! 

Since I’ve always been defiant, let’s talk about the real ways to defy aging, resist the secrecy, shame, and stigma of ageism, and own your age!

“Live your life and forget your age.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale 

Experts today, including clinical neuropsychologists, are telling us that our personal beliefs on aging (what we believe it means to age) and how we adapt to what society is telling us about aging are more impactful than the number of years you’ve been alive.

Forget what others think is “age-appropriate” and whatever they mean by “act your age.” Don’t conform to what culture says should or should happen as you live longer, especially that which brings you shame, regret, or fear!

Someone once asked, “how old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?” I love that!

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” ~ Mark Twain 

Whether you are 4, 24, or 104, you’ll benefit from learning, moving, resting, eating clean, practicing mindfulness, playing, flossing, stretching, hydrating, being social, and being creative.

Whether you are 4, 24, or 104, you will have dreams and fears, challenges and obstacles, victories and defeats, joy and disappointment, illnesses and cures, pride and regrets.

Make choices in life because you love your body, your mind, and your soul, and embrace what that means every moment. 

“Your age does not define you, you define your age.” ~ Vincent Archer

Who you are at your core doesn’t really age, it just evolves. I can’t stand it when people call my kids an “old soul” or say “they’re SO wise for their age.” These backhanded compliments are damaging!

I personally think I made my wisest decisions when I was 7 years old and I have more energy being 42 and pregnant than I did when I was 24 expecting Elisha, and my college experience is much better now than it was when I enrolled the first time around at 15 years old!

Age is not synonymous with experience, wisdom, energy – or lack thereof! Age is really just a number because you are timeless and ageless. 

As my personal hero, Honest Abe once said “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

“Don’t regret growing older. It’s a privilege denied to many.” ~ Unknown

I was close to dying several times as a child because of epileptic seizures, survived attempted murder at 19, had an out-of-body experience while in a coma that same year, and just celebrated my 10th year in remission from ovarian cancer – you bet I think each day is a gift and I joyfully celebrate each birthday.

So what if I have to wear reading glasses? Time doesn’t stand still and with each number comes change, but that’s a cheap price to pay for the experiences I’ve been blessed to live all these years I’ve been alive. Aging is inevitable when you’re alive. Aging is really living!

My wish is that we fall in love with who we are at any age and stage. I loved my babies when they were growing their first teeth, I love them now that they have grown breasts, and I will love them when those sag, and when they grow their own babies – may God grant me the privilege to be “that old.” 

“Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age and dreams are forever.” ~ Walt Disney

I was pregnant with Elisha the first time I went to Disneyland and I cried when I heard the greeting “Welcome, boys and girls of all ages.” It wasn’t the hormones (let’s not go down that rabbit hole). I was still so hurt that I had a traumatic childhood, but I realized I could still access my inner child!

You can dream and pursue those dreams, BOLD goals, and ambitions at any age. You can find purpose, joy, and fulfillment in anything you want and do it your way, with the mental faculties you possess, with the body you have, with the experiences in your journey.

I recently asked my Facebook friends “do you hide or flaunt your age?” and I am grateful to be connected to people who openly share their truth so we can bring to light our self-fulfilling prophecies, misconceptions, and both limiting and empowering beliefs, and gain awareness so we can learn from one another.

It’s not how old you look or how old you are that matters, it’s who you are!

I’m excited to start this conversation with you! What does “living sin cuenta” mean to you? Share how you live your best life at your age with us in the comment section below!

Elayna is a single mom of 4, award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Student of Pain. She’s a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 4x TEDx speaker. Founder of the Positive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share powerful stories that will transform your results, so you can have the wealth, opportunities, and freedom you deserve. Connect with Elayna Fernández at thepositivemom.com/keynote-speaker and follow @thepositivemom. To receive a gift from Elayna, click HERE.

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