55 Things You Say To Sabotage Your Success Skip to Content

55 Things You Say To Sabotage Your Success

I say it over and over: I am a firm believer that our words have the power to create our reality and I’m very intense about it. Connection is one of my highest core values and words of appreciation is my primary love language, so it’s not surprising that sometimes communication styles [or lack thereof] can become a source of stress in my relationships. 

I always pray for patience and understanding in this matter and to meet people where they are at in their journey while being committed to help them shift and gain awareness. I pray I can focus on progress, which always put things in perspective for me. 

[Tweet “Focusing on progress puts things in perspective. #mindsetformoms”]

Besides my own experience, I have witnessed hundreds of people become more confident as individuals, which leads them to achieve levels of success they had not experienced before. When our words change, our beliefs change, and possibilities open up to match them.

[Tweet “When our words change, our beliefs change, and possibilities open up to match them.”]

I’ve discussed that a good attitude is what most successful people have in common. Likewise, people who don’t succeed, share some distinguishing traits. In his book, Think and Grow RICH, Napoleon Hill explains:

“They know all the reasons for failure, and have what they believe to be airtight alibis to explain away their own lack of achievement.”

Napoleon Hill goes on to share a list of the 55 most commonly used alibis, which was complied by a character analyst. No matter how clever or justifiable by facts these alibis may sound, notice these may be things you say to sabotage your success.

The idea is not to blame or shame yourself because you use the alibis, but to create self-awareness and empower yourself to improve your relationships and become more confident to create the life you want.

Things you say to sabotage your success

55 Famous Alibis From Old Man “IF.” ~ By Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow RICH

  1. IF only I didn’t have a *spouse* and children …
  2. IF only I had enough “pull”…
  3. IF only I had money…
  4. IF only I had a good education…
  5. IF only I could get a job…
  6. IF only I had good health…
  7. IF only I had time…
  8. IF only times were better…
  9. IF only other people understood me…
  10. IF only conditions around me were different…
  11. IF only I could live my life over again…
  12. IF only I did not fear what “they” would say…
  13. IF only I had been given a chance…
  14. IF only I now had a chance…
  15. IF only other people didn’t “have it in for me”…
  16. IF only nothing happened to stop me…
  17. IF only I were younger…
  18. IF only I could do what I want…
  19. IF only I had been born rich…
  20. IF only I could meet “the right people”…
  21. IF only I had the talent some people have…
  22. IF only I dared assert myself…
  23. IF only I had embraced past opportunities…
  24. IF only people didn’t get on my nerves…
  25. IF only I didn’t have to keep house and look after the kids…
  26. IF only I could save some money…
  27. IF only the boss [or clients, or brands…] appreciated me…
  28. IF only I had somebody to help me…
  29. IF only my family understood me…
  30. IF only I lived in a big city…
  31. IF only I could  just get started…
  32. IF only I were free…
  33. IF only I had the personality of some people…
  34. IF only I were not so fat/short/skinny/tall…
  35. IF only my talents were known…
  36. IF only I could just get a “break”…
  37. IF only I could get out of debt…
  38. IF only I hadn’t failed…
  39. IF only I knew how…
  40. IF only everybody didn’t oppose me…
  41. IF only I didn’t have so many worries…
  42. IF only I could marry [or could have married] the right person…
  43. IF only people weren’t so dumb/mean…
  44. IF only my family weren’t so extravagant…
  45. IF only I were sure of myself…
  46. IF only luck were not against me…
  47. IF only I had not been born under the wrong star…
  48. IF only it were not true that “what is to be will be”…
  49. IF only I didn’t have to work so hard…
  50. IF only I hadn’t lost [spent] my money…
  51. IF only I lived in a different neighborhood…
  52. IF only I didn’t have a past…
  53. IF only I had a business of my own…
  54. IF only other people would listen to me…
  55. IF only (and this is the greatest of them all) I had the courage to see myself as I really am, I would find out what is wrong with me and correct it.  Then I might have a chance to profit by my mistakes and learn something from the experience of others.  I know there is something wrong with me or I would now be where I would have been if I had spent more time analyzing my weaknesses, and less time building alibis to cover them.

I am a big fan of #55, and my daughters, along with many of the moms in my trainings and coaching programs, will gladly support this claim.

I believe that these alibis are spot on and we all use them at one time or another, for different reasons.

Sometimes people are so stuck in their story that they feel frustrated when you don’t commiserate, but it is my mission to show them their potential, not to support a lie that stunts their growth and denies their true potential.

55 alibis or things you say to sabotage your success and your relationships

Napoleon Hill says that it is in our human nature to create these explanations of why we fail and then we cling to them because they are our “brain child.” We’ve been saying them for so long that it’s so hard to let them go.

When we conquer these excuses, and set ourselves free to be powerful creators through personal responsibility. As we understand how our words influence our choices and our choices blaze the path to our destiny, our excuses become obsolete, and our dreams are manifested into our reality.

[Tweet “No alibi will save you from accepting the responsibility. #mindsetformoms #ThinkAndGrowRICH”]

Believing these excuses are true does not make anyone exempt of the results that come with them. Success principles work on everyone: male and female, of any age, and any background or current circumstance.

People succeed without money, education, or support ALL THE TIME. Many people think my success story is inspiring, when actually, some people have achieved great heights of sustainable fulfillment and success without limbs, hearing, voice, or sight!

No alibi will save you from accepting the responsibility ~ Napoleon Hill - Think and Grow RICH quote

Do you recognize any of the alibis above? It is my prayer that Napoleon Hill’s words have inspired you as they did me long time ago when I first read his book. It’s a great read and my daughters are reading it this week.

Will you strive to get rid of the “IF Only’s” of your life and claim the success you are meant to enjoy in this life experience? Share your commitment below.

You’re worth it!

[ela]

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Elisha Fernandez

Monday 22nd of July 2019

Taking responsibility is the mark of a person ready for true accelerated growth. I definitely need to take more responsibility for my actions, and my progress. If only... is such a trap. We don’t need to put limits on our qualifications. We ARE already qualified where we are with what we have.

Christine G

Monday 22nd of July 2019

I actually have the book Think and Grow Rich on audio! I can't wait to get to it. I have certainly used some of the 55 phrases in the past, but I am in the process of changing my mindset, so that will happen no longer.

Patty

Monday 22nd of July 2019

Elayna: Another fantastic post. This one gave me a whole lot to think about. I am a firm believing in everything you say about words having the power to create life or death. I know that I have spent too many years sabotaging my own success.

Rebecca Bryant

Sunday 21st of July 2019

Up until now, I have been one of those if only people. I see now how I have sabotaged my own success. I need to stop this behavior and I also need to read this book.

21 Words To Ban From Your Vocabulary For Good ★ Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM ♥

Sunday 21st of July 2019

[…] Only – This lie is an alibi to not go for what we want. It is a tool to hide your light “under a bushel” (Matthew 5:15) and stay in your […]