I am a firm believer that you can transform your life by transforming your vocabulary. I have put this in practice and it has worked wonders for myself, for my family, and for the moms I mentor.
There are some words and phrases that disempower us more than we can imagine. I call them “debilitating words” because they weaken our mind, our body, and our spirit.
An MRI will prove that a negative word, simply flashed before your eyes for a fraction of a second, would cause a sudden release of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitter that interrupt the normal functioning of the brain: it would impair reason, logic, language processing, and communication. And a whole list of negative words will damage key structures of the brain that are responsible for regulating memory, feelings, and emotions.
As far as the body is concerned, kinesiology (also known as muscle testing) has proven that negative words drain us of our strength, while positive words make us stronger.
Of course, when we are stressed and weak, we are less able to engage in our spiritual practices and connect with God, or to enjoy life and one another.
As moms, we are to be more conscious of our words than anyone else because, when uttered, these negative words won’t only affect the speaker, but the listener, too.
Today, our kids are more stressed than ever, and a few tweaks in our vocabulary (and theirs) can help the whole family to be more empowered, happier, and more united.
With the input of my family, I’ve put together a list of words and phrases that I’ve banned from our home, and that we all have chosen to eliminate from our overall vocabulary.
Phrases and Words To Ban From Your Vocabulary For Good
- Should – usually says “I feel ashamed, guilty, and regretful that I don’t.”
- I Can’t – sets you up for failure and often means “I won’t” or “I don’t know how to.”
- Problem – feels like a lot of work to devise a solution, which causes stress and blocks creativity.
- No – wonderful to set boundaries, dangerous when it’s coupled with body language and actions that embody fear, rejection, self-sabotage, self-denial, anger, disapproval, blame, shame, and guilt.
- Just – a qualifier to minimize ourselves, our possessions, and our accomplishments.
- If Only – an alibi to not go for what we want.
- But – negates everything that was stated before it.
- Someday – a day that is not on the calendar.
- Why me – keeps us stuck in victim mentality, rather than helping us resolve the situation.
- I don’t know – implies our “smarts” are fixed and we are unable (or unwilling) to learn.
- It’s not fair – focuses on how life is not going the way we want to.
- I’m not – when it means we are not qualified, equipped, or simply enough.
- I’ll try – it’s sitting on the fence, indecisively, and making it okay to fail without a fight.
- But what if – a seed of doubt and worry that predicts the worse possible outcome.
- Don’t – the brain does not understand don’ts, therefore, they create the opposite of what we desire.
- I wish I – a more subtle form of “I can’t,” or “I’m not worthy of.”
- I have to – we choose everything we do. We never “have to,” we simply do or get to do.
- I hate – one of the most debilitating words in existence because of its negative energy.
- No way – there is a way, that you now won’t see because you don’t believe there is.
- I hope – often deflates our desire, and denotes no control and powerlessness over situations.
- Impossible – the opposite of miracles. Let’s believe in miracles!
Our words are powerful and, thankfully, our choice. It is very empowering to have a higher awareness about what we create with our words, because they will shape our beliefs and influence our decisions, and even though we have millions of thoughts, the ones we express are the ONLY ones our kids hear. Our words, make their world, not just ours.
How To Ban Words From Your Vocabulary
There is no perfection when it comes to being a positive mom. Speaking a positive life into existence is a journey, and below are 3 tips you can use to travel it:
Catch yourself – assess the words you use each day and congratulate yourself when you use empowering words. When the words you use are less than empowering, instead of shaming yourself or thinking it’s time to give up, encourage yourself to remember sooner next time: your brain is listening :). I’ve been playing “catch my kids” since they were tiny, but guess what – they now catch me more than I catch them. After 3 years of marriage, Taylor Bare is catching up, too! I love that we can have that kind of partnership.
Practice – like any skill, speaking positively can be improved through practice, because practice makes progress, and I believe that “progress is success!” Reciting positive affirmations in the morning can be a way to do this. Also, you can turn up the volume on positive statements when you talk about what you love – add a little more love, passion, and enthusiasm.
Downplay – It’s true that when we say something negative about ourselves or others, saying the opposite would be more empowering. We know the difference between “I hate it” and “I love it,” yet many of us want to feel genuine in the words that we say, and the switch may seem harder to flip when it just doesn’t feel true. Playing down a statement (like saying, “sometimes, I hate it when…”) can ease us up into change. No one is positive 24/7 everyday with everyone and in every situation, and it is possible to balance it out!
If you’re ready to have a more positive life at home, stay tuned, because I’m going to examine these and many more words and phrases in depth, so you can improve your vocabulary in a way that it improves your family life.
Make sure you subscribe to get notifications of my new posts, and comment below: what one word or phrases would you add to the list?